Not So Massive Effect
by DetolAntiseptic
Summary: The adventure of Normandy crew in the eye of super 'ordinary' man, who turn out not so ordinary after all...
1. Chapter 0

Hello, citizen of FF. This is my first attempt in creating a fanfiction. And I want to say thank you to my friend LucaBlightIsPUCA, who's kindly become my personal grammar checker.

Enjoy

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**Chapter 0**

**Prologue**

"Doctor Chakwas! I think he's woken up!"Ashley Williams, a fellow Marine, said excitedly.

Shepard tried to sit down slowly, clutching his head. Ho looked around the room and saw doctor Chakwas and Chief William from Eden Prime.

"You've had us worried, Shepard. How are you feeling?" asked Doctor Chakwas. Her eyes were full of concern.

"Like a morning after shore leave." Shepard rubbed his head out of dizziness. "How long was I out?" asked Shepard still rubbing his head.

"About fifteen hours. Something happened with the beacon I think, " answered Doctor Chakwas.

"It's my fault, Commander. I must have triggered some kind of security field when I touched had to push me out of the way. I'm sorry, Commander." Ashley was now looking down, feeling guilty about what happened at Eden Prime.

"Never mind that chief, it's not your fault. You had no idea what was going to happen," Shepard assured her.

The commander's body now tensed up. He remembered the mission on the Eden Prime had not been finished. "The beacon, what happened to it?" Sense of panic filled his voice.

"It exploded. System overloaded maybe. The blast knocked you out cold. The Lt and I carried you back here on the ship," answered Ashley to the commander.

"And that strange ice block from the site near the beacon?" asked Shepard still looked concerned.

"Captain Anderson dispatched a team to extract it. It should be in the cargo bay in the engineering level by now," answered Ashley.

Commander Shepard sighed. He was still processing the thing which was currently going on. And then his body tensed up once again, cold sweat dripping from his forehead. He remembered the vision, the nightmarish image that had been planted inside his mind. "I remember something when the beacon started to glow." His face looked grim while he was trying to remember the vision. "It was a dream or a vision—I don't know what I saw… death… destruction—nothing was really clear," said Shepard. His voice was shaking, full of despair.

Doctor Chakwas was ready to say something about adding this to her report when Captain Anderson barged into the medbay.

"Captain Anderson," Doctor Chakwas greeted.

"How's our XO holding in?" Anderson frowned, looked concerned.

"I think the commander will be fine," answered Doctor Chakwas.

"It's good to hear that. But I need to speak with you immediately. In private." His face still looked serious.

"Aye, aye, Captain. I'll be in the mess if you need me," said Ashley, saluting before she left. Doctor Chakwas soon followed Ashley outside the medbay.

"Are you sure you all right, Shepard?" asked Anderson.

"Yeah, I'm fine. So what's this you want to talk about?" He tried to stand up, but decided to sit down due to his dizziness.

"I won't lie to you, Shepard, things look grim right now. Nihlus is dead and the beaconis is destroyed. The council demands answer of your action," said Anderson. His tone of voice was serious.

"The council can kiss my ass! I didn't do anything wrong!" He gritted his teeth, trying to contain his anger.

"I know. I stood behind you and your report, Shepard. But that's not why I'm here." Anderson turned his back to Shepard. "It's about Saren the other Turian. He's a spectre—a living legend. If he really works with the geth, it means he's gone rogue," said Anderson, now turning back to face Shepard once more. "And not just that, he hates humanity. He thinks human is growing too fast and is a blight to the galaxy. I think he's behind all of the attack on Eden Prime. Shepard, you were there. What happened to the beacon before it did self-destruct?" asked Anderson.

"It burns a vision to my head." He looked down, the memory of the vision still haunted him.

"Vision? What kind of Vision?" Curiosity filled Anderson voice.

"I don't know. I saw synthetic, butchering people." answered Shepard, looking grim.

"If it's true, then I know why Saren wants that Prothean beacon. The vision of yours could be precious information about ancient technology or a weapon of mass destruction. What I know is he'll not stop until he wipe out humanity out of the galaxy with geth in his command." Anderson spoke seriously, his eyes sparked with determination. "And there's the Prothean inside that ice block you found at the site near the beacon." He scratched his head, confused.

Hearing this, the commander jumped out from his seat. "A Prothean? I thought they were extinct 50.000 years ago?" His eyes widen, shocked to hear what Anderson had said.

"That's what I thought, too. But we examined the sample and found there was some form of humanoid organic life inside the block. Given the proximity of the object to the beacon, we assume it's a Prothean. And it seems like it was alive in cryogenic condition," Anderson explained.

"I don't know what to say, Captain, It's a bit overwhelming to me." Shepard still tried to comprehend the information he had just heard. "I assume you'll now try to unfreeze this Prothean?" His face sparked with curiosity.

"I will. This Prothean could hold a precious intel about your vision, and that could prove something to the council," said Anderson bluntly.

"Yeah, I bet the council would call me crazy for presenting a dream as evidence." Shepard folded his hand, understanding what Anderson tried to say. "When will you commence the unfreezing sir?" asked Shepard.

"As soon as you ready, Commander," answered Anderson.

"I'm ready now, Sir," he said shortly. With this they proceed to exit the medbay, into the storage bay.

Soon Anderson and Shepard arrived in the cargo bay area. In the middle of the room, a big block of white ice surrounded by marine pointing their gun ready for anything come out of the cyro. Chief Gunnery Ashley Williams and Lt Kaidan Alenko were also there with guns in their hands.

"Isn't it too much for just one alien capatain?" asked Ashley to Anderson.

"I agree with the chief here Captain, it seems hell lot of security for one Prothean," Kaidan added.

"We don't know the nature of this creature we assume Prothean. It could be hostile or confuse and begin attacking the crew. I'm not taking any chance with that. Better safe than sorry," answered Anderson with assault rifle in his hand.

The room was now extremely silent. The only thing which could be heard was the hum of the air conditioner which kept the ice frozen. The atmosphere inside the room was tense with fear and uncertainty.

"We'll increase the room temperature in, three, two, one…," said the engineer from the intercom.

The cryo was melting slowly, but surely. It created small fogs that engulfed the room and made it hazy. A humanoid figure stepped up from the fog into the light. And all eyes were now glued on the creature that had been unleashed in front of them. And all of them were shocked to death by what they see.


	2. Chapter 1

**So, things gonna be a bit different from the prologue I guess. And sorry if there's a grammatical mistake since grammar isn't my strong suit and my personal grammar checker is a bit busy at the moment. **

**And I kinda forgot the disclaimer thingy in the last chapter so I add it now**

**All of the mass effect character that appear in this story is the property of Bioware.**

**Enjoy**

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**Chapter 1**

**What…?**

Darkness… I only remembered the darkness…. There's a lot of questions running through my head. I looked around, and see there's a lot of people surrounded me. The first question that pops into my head is, where the hell am I? I looked around some more and I don't recognize any of these people and they appeared to be some sort of soldier. Who are these people?

"What the hell?" One of the soldiers lower their guns when he saw me.

"You tell me, It should be me saying those words." I blurted out without thinking

All of them looks shocked hearing me saying these words. It's even more confusing for me. Why're these people reacted in such a way? I heard them whispering to each other,

"I don't think that's a Prothean…" whispered one of the soldiers to another

"Damn, he's big…" now it's the woman soldier, mumbling to herself.

"Is this some kind of joke?" whispered one of the dude without helmet to someone who looks like some sort of general.

What the hell, what's a Prothean, and what's so big? I tilted my head in confusion. I try to figure out what the hell are they talking about. I looked around myself once more to get a better idea about what's going on here.

It's looks like some kind of storage room. It's really plain with metal roof, tile and wall. There's like 8 soldiers that surrounded me and they're all wearing a helmet so I can't tell what they looks like. Behind them, it's the woman soldiers with bright white and pink armor, or some sort. And there's 3 dudes standing side by side. I notice they're the only one who doesn't wear any kind of armor. The first one on the left is a guy with short hair, and the next in the middle is the guy with really short hair, and the last is this dude who appears to be some sort of general.

I tried to look around some more, but there's nothing caught my attention. And then I looked down and tried to look at myself.

"WHAT THE HELL!" I blurted out loud once again without thinking.

They're all looked shocked after hearing me yell out of nowhere. But I'm naked! What the hell is going on! Why the hell am I naked?! Why? Did something happen? Did they…. Oh no…

"Don't tell me!?" I screamed at them at this moment

"Don't tell me…" now my eyes watering from thinking about what may happen to me.

They're now looking tensed, not sure what to do with my sudden outburst.

"Are you guys trying to probe me?! Are you guys doing something I'm not willing to do?! Am I getting raped by you guys?! I demand answers right now! Are you guys an alien?! If it's a girl I don't mind, but I have no interest in a guy!" I screamed at them out loud, now crying, unable to hold back the tears from my eyes.

All of them looked shocked from my another sudden outburst. One of them yell back at me and said what the hell. There's even someone who looks like ready to burst out laughing. They're all monsters…

Now the general dude step up and try to communicate with me.

"Calm down son, I know there must be a lot of questions running in your head right now. But the feeling is mutual with us. There's a lot of questions running in our head too." The general dude exclaimed, looking serious.

"And for your information, we don't try to probe you or do something disgusting like what you've said. I have no interest in doing such a thing either." Add the guy with short hair

I wiped down my tears, feeling relieved. Well, somehow anyway.

"All right, but can you at least provide me with some kind of clothing? It's cold here and I'm not used to be looked at by a lot of guys!" I demand to the general dude, try to cover my private.

"I don't know Prothean is actually this whiny…" said the girl soldiers, looking annoyed.

"Hey, my current situation has justified me being whiny." I protested slightly to the girl.

The girl now rolled her eyes and tried to say something before the dude with very short hair interrupted her."Enough Chief William, I think you should bring this man some clothing from the crew quarter."

With that, the girl leaves the room, mumbling something I can't hear.

After a while she comes back with a pair of clothes. It's the same blue shirt and pants the guy with short hair and really short hair.

"These pants are a bit too tight, you know" I complained while trying to wear to clothes.

"Are you really a Prothean? I imagine a Prothean should be more regal or majestic. But you are the opposite of all that…" she exclaimed while rolling her eyes.

"First thing first, What in the name of godhood is a Prothean?!" I scratched my head, confused with all these Prothean talks.

Now the room is silent. Everybody looking at each other, confused. Hell, it's even more confusing for me seeing these strangers confused themselves.

"It's your race? The one who built the mass relay? Mass effect technology? The creator of Citadel" She tried to explain with a hint of sarcasm.

But it didn't help me a lot. I don't even understand anything she mentions. Am I stranded in a universe where everyone is crazy?

"I don't even understand any of the things you say..." I told her while shook my own head.

"But how in the hell you ended up inside a block of ice near the Prothean beacon?" She asked me again, her eyes are full of suspicion.

"How the hell should I know… " I screamed angrily at her.

"I think he's telling the truth Captain," said the guy with really short hair to the general dude.

"Maybe he's just confused, waking up in an alien surrounding" added the guy with short hair.

It's really confusing, Did they think I'm an alien or some sort? But what he guy said is true, it's a bit too much waking up and ended up in this kind of a weird situation. I try to look at them some more. Their appearance is not that different from me. Hell, it's exactly the same.

"You know what, I heard all of you talk about this alien thingy… I think it's all just a misunderstanding…" I said while scratching my head.

"Are you guys are stupid or what, look at me! I got 2 legs, 2arms, 2 eyes, 2 ears, a hair, and 1 head!" I exclaimed with such a passion in my voice.

"Hell, even you guys got to see my 'private' part! I don't think I'm this Alien you guys talking about… Except.. If it turns out you guys didn't have the same part as the one I have down there… I think that's… possible…" My voice getting lower and lower in the last part, a bit shy talking about such a 'private' matter.

Hearing this some of the guys can't hold it anymore and started to burst out, laughing so hard. The women soldiers rolled her eyes, the guy with short hair folds his hand and the guy with really short hair smiling from ear to ear.

And then the general dude starts talking "But as you said yourself, it's possible that you only share our anatomical traits. After seeing the Geth working with some rogue spectre, anything is possible for me." He seems serious about this one.

"I'll have doctor Chackwass to check on you, see if there's anything unusual." With this he turned around and leave the room.

And now the guy with a really short hair approached me with a friendly smile.

"I'm sorry about the Captain, He got a lot in his mind at the moment. I believe we haven't introduced ourselves properly" He seems like a nice guy, so I shook my head to answer that.

"I'm Commander John Shepard, and that guy who just leaves the room is Captain Anderson." He said while shaking my hand.

"I'm Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko." Said the guy with a short hair

"I'm Chief Gunnery Ashley William." Said the girl soldier.

"I'm Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau, you can call me Joker, and if you are wondering, I'm the guy who pilot this ship" said the voice from the intercom.

"I'm Sgt Johny Atkins" said one of the random soldiers with a helmet.

"Nobody asks you Atkins" said some other random soldier.

This is a bit overwhelming for me. First, they point a gun at me while I'm naked, now they suddenly act friendly like they know me for a while. I feel like I want to throw up from the dizziness...

"So what's your name?" asked the guy who I think is John Shepard

Now he mentions it. What's my name. I try to remember it so hard. Cold sweat dripping from my forehead. My eyes widen, filled with shock and horror. I can't remember a thing. I only remember the darkness… The darkness that engulfs my whole body…

"I can't remember" My voice is weak, filled with desperation.

"What?" Shepard seems confused by my answer.

"I can't remember a thing! I don't know who am I!" My body is shaking, My head filled only with the darkness, desperation is clearly visible in my eyes. And then, everything is darken up.

I guess I'll be on this ship for a while…


	3. Chapter 2

**Any Mass Effect thingy that appear in this story is the property of Bioware. I only own a piece of bacon. **

**Enjoy**

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**Chapter 2**

**Average Joe**

When I woke up, what I saw is a bright white light. It's so bright my eyes burned like an egg on a hot skillet. Well, actually it's just a bit watery, but still, it hurt like hell. Then I remember what happened before. I tried to check on my surroundings, it seems I'm in some kind of medical room.

And then the realization hit me hard. Sense of panic began to fill my consciousness. My eyes widen in horror. A cold sweat flow through my whole body. My instinct began to kick in and I went into self preservation mode. I jumped from my bed, ready with my fighting stance.

"YOU'LL NEVER GONNA PROBE ME ALIVE!" I screamed furiously as hard as I can.

And then I noticed there's the girl soldier, Ashley William, leaning by the exit door. She rolled her eyes and began to walk toward me. There's also this old woman stood near a computer. She laughed a bit, covering her mouth.

"What's with you and probing?" she asked me a bit annoyed.

Then suddenly this John Shepard barge into the room, he seems a bit panic in the way he entered the room.

"What happen? I heard a scream from the hangar bay?" He's out of breath when he entered the room. I guess he ran all the way here from the hangar bay.

"It seems our patient here is full of spirit Commander." said the old woman.

"I think he got a probe fetish or something, all he think of when he's waking up is probing," added Ashley William, the girl soldier.

"Oww, Shudup! How can I be sure you guys don't probe me while I passed out!" I pointed my finger at her.

"Yeah right, and we totally interested to probe you! Who knows, maybe we dissect you down and plant a baby inside your body…" answered Ashley, she seems serious.

"You what... I'm PREGNANT?!" I began to panic once more. I put my hand on top my head, feeling dizzy.

"I think Chief William isn't serious about what she said" said the old woman, smiling like mad.

"But.. but… It's… baby… " My voice is weak, filled with disbelief.

"Oh dear Lord, It's called sarcasm, dumbass!" She rolled her eyes at my stupidity.

Before I had a chance to talk back, Shepard interrupted.

"Enough you two." Sheppard shook his head. "Anyway, doc, what's the result of your examination on our new patient?" Asked Shepard to the old lady.

"Despite the exhaustion from being inside the cyro for so long. He seems surprisingly normal. But it's unusual to see human nowadays without any implant at all" She said while reading her report. "The composition of bone and muscle tissue is also a bit unusual, but I can't find out any further what cause this since our equipment here is rather limited. It could be a rare mutation or simple miscalculation of our equipment." Added the old lady.

"Hmm, maybe he's just a freak that got dumped by the colonist because of his constant whining" said Ashley, half joking.

"Ha Ha, very funny!" I exclaimed sarcastically. "But, it could be possible, what if… " I rubbed my chin thinking about the possible situation. In my thought, there's a lady gave birth in a winter and accidentally drop the child in a pit, and then the child is founded by a Varen then the Varen dumped him into a lake because the child shits in his pants too often. Somehow, when the child is frozen, he continues to grow, and then here I am, the child that has been dumped by a Varen.

"Hmm, that's impossible…." I talked to myself at the moment, trying to get rid of the thought out of my head.

"What's possible?" Shepard asked me curiously.

"He's probably thinking something involving a Varen or some sort" added Ashley.

What the hell, how did she know what I'm thinking… She's a dangerous women…

"Of course not, you idiot. I'm not that dumb" I lied while laugh weakly.

I thought she's gonna ridicule me further, but she's not. She just smiles a bit. I squint my eyes suspiciously at her. It's weird. I'll keep my eyes on this dangerous lady in case she does something surprising.

And then the old lady greets me. "I believe you're confused with this old lady here. My name is Doctor Karin Chakwas. And you're…"

"I don't know doc, I can't remember anything. Not even my own name…" I shook my head in response.

"Well then, we have to give you a temporary name. We can't run around and call you creature X or something like that" suggested Shepard.

"Actually, that's a good idea Commander. Let's call him Alien Freak X." Ashley said, while nodded and snickered like a mad man.

"No! Don't you consider my feeling at all?" I shook my head furiously hearing her answer.

"I guess you can call me…" I think for a while. What's a good name for a fabulously awesome man like me. Hmmm… Aha~!

"You can call me Emperor Ninja Dragon Fire Blaze Samurai Lee!" I exclaimed proudly for such an awesome name.

"What's with the Lee at the end?" asked Ashley to me.

"Well, isn't it obvious? It makes me sounds like a martial arts master!" I rolled my eyes, slightly annoyed by her comment.

She, as usual, rolled her eyes. Man, why can't she appreciate such an awesome name.

"Why don't we call you chubby?" She giggled at her own thought.

Okay, that's burned like hell, I know I'm probably the most unfit person on this ship. But, for pete sake, they're soldier and I'm not fat in any way. I'm just a bit … loaded …

"I think we should call him Joe." It's Lt Kaidan. How long he's been standing by the door. Who knows. This guy just appeared out of nowhere. There's this mysterious aura around him. Hmm, He must be popular with the chick.

"You know, he seems like a regular joe to me. So why don't we call him Joe?" he explained.

Man, what a boring man I am, named after something so obviously regular? I bet everyone wouldn't agree with such a ridiculous idea.

"I think It's a good idea! Better than Creature X. From now on, we'll call you Joe." said Shepard, approved Kaidan Idea.

"Yeah, that's a great idea Lt!" I'm not surprised to see Ashley agreed with him while smiling from ear to ear.

"Yeah, that's a splendid idea. Welcome aboard Joe." Oh my god, even the doctor approved such a lame name.

"No! Call me, Lord Spartan of Fire Phoenix Lee!" I tried to disapprove this ridiculous idea.

"No Joe, It's even different from the first name you suggested." Said Ashley. I bet she just tried to annoy me.

"Yeah, Joe is a nice name. It's better than Creature X" oww, shuddup about the Creature X already Sheppard…

I sighed in defeat. I couldn't win against these people.

* * *

I walked around the ship because I got nothing to do. I'm surprised to know I'm on a ship because it's so calm. And sure enough, people started to call me Joe on the ship. Sigh, it's so sad for me to be called Joe because such a lame reason. It'll probably stick around till I die…

Now I'm thinking about serious matters. Who am I before all of this freezing business. Am I really just a simple colonist trapped there for a ridiculous accident? Or am I really a Prothean like the Captain assuming? Or am I something else? Something Unknown? Wow, that'll be cool being something mysterious. I bet the chicks will dig me for being a mysterious badass. But first, there's the more pressing matter to solve at the moment. I'm hungry.

The crew I asked around for a place to eat gave me the direction to the mess hall. It's actually pretty close to the medbay from where I was placed while I passed out. I saw Shepard in the mess hall, enjoying his meal alone. I decided to sit down by him, ready to eat my meal.

"It's weird to see such a nice friendly guy like you eat your meal without company." I said to him while taking a bite. Damn,I don't know military ship food could be this good.

"Oh, hi Joe." He's looking at me smiling. "It's not because I like to eat alone. As XO in this ship, I have a very different shift from the other crew" He explained to me while taking a bite of his own food.

Hmm, I don't know what the hell is XO. But it's seems uncool if I ask him what it's mean. So I just nodded in agreement.

"Shepard, can I ask you something?" I asked him, serious right now.

"Of course Joe, what do you want to ask?" He seems curious by my question.

"Why Captain Anderson treat me as a very important object? Do you know something I don't know about myself?" I ask him seriously.

"Beside we found you in a block of ice near the Prothean dig site? I know nothing." He answered while taking bites of his own food. "We lose a good soldier on the mission." His voice is filled with sadness.

"I'm sorry Shepard, I don't know…" I apologized, unsure about what I need to say.

"It's okay. By the way, Doctor Chakwas looking for you. She said she got a spare translator implant for you. You can't go to the Citadel without one of those things. You'll not understand a thing with so many alien races there." With that, he grabbed his food tray and placed it on the counter.

"Wait, what's Citadel? Why are we going there? There's actually an alien?" I asked him curiously

Shepard just smirked and nodded, then leave the mess hall.

Hmm, that's weird. I guess it's just a top military secret thingy. Well, If what he said is true, I better go to Doctor Chakwas soon. But it could wait after my second plate.

* * *

"Doctor Chakwas, what's Citadel?" I asked her curiously

"Just wait a minute- Done." she finished attaching my translator implant. "You sure don't remember anything, huh? Well Citadel is the heart of galactic civilization. It's the center of all things happen in the galaxy, be it politics, trade, even military matter between all of the galactic civilization" She explained cheerfully. Damn, I feel like a little kid. But it seems this Citadel is a grand thing.

"Shepard told me there's many alien races in there. Anything I should know?" I asked her once more.

And then she explained to me many races in the citadel. There's all female race Asari, mighty Turian, and a cunning lizard race called Salarian. She explained what's geth is and their relation to this race called Quarian. She also told me about Hanar, Elcor, Volus, and many other races. And one more thing, she asked me to stay away from this particular race of giant lizard called a Krogan. She said they're mostly a dangerous SOB on the galaxy. Well, she didn't exactly said the SOB part, but I get it they're dangerous.

Man, I can't wait till we arrived at the Citadel!


	4. Chapter 3

**Alright****, so now I'm using this software called ginger to correct my grammar. I hope it'll work out.**

**Any Mass Effect things in this story is not mine. I can only hope I own it. **

**Enjoy**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**Citadel Ice Cream Adventure**

*5 hours ago

"No Joe, Captain Anderson clearly ordered, you must remain on the ship until the meeting with the council is over," Shepard explained this to me for the third time already. "It's not safe for you to walk around in the citadel without any escort from the crew member."

"But I can take care of myself! I know how to defend myself! I'm an adult!" I plead to Shepard, hoping he'll listen to what I've said.

"I don't think whining and crying is a form of self defense," said Ashley, half teasing.

Man, I got burned again by the same person. This woman is really dangerous.

"Hey, I know the basic! Never talk to some stranger in the street!" I exclaimed angrily at her.

I swear she laugh so hard hearing my answer. Shepard just shook his head like usual.

"It's not the only reason Joe, and you know it. We still need to examine you on Huerta Memorial Laboratory. And we need you to be here when we ready to escort you," he said seriously.

"Then take me with you! I'll not do anything stupid! I promise!" I plead to Shepard once more.

"Can't do Joe. Non Alliance official isn't allowed into the meeting. Tell you what, when we're back, I teach you how to use omnitool," Kaidan promised me genuinely. But still…

"It's not fair!" With this I stormed out of the hangar bay angrily.

* * *

Man, they sure took a long time for such a simple meeting. Engineer Adams already told me how to use omnitool and gave me some spare from the ship inventory. And now, after playing with it for several hours, I got bored. I'm so bored I think I could eat a tire of the mako If this continue.

I decided to approach Joker. Maybe he got something to eliminate this boredom.

"Joker, I'm bored… Do something!" I said while walking toward him.

"What'd you expect me to do? Get off my seat and do some break dance for you?" He said sarcastically while typing something on the pilot console.

"That'll be awesome Joker," I said to him, half joking.

"Ha-Ha, really funny." I know Joker has this rare medical condition that make his bones really fragile. But he got a good sense of humor. His joke is so bad, it's so good. I like this guy.

"You know what, I think I could use some ice cream right now." He turned his chair now, facing me.

"Now you speak my language. But I don't think there's any ice cream in the mess hall," I said to him, rubbing my chin.

"Oh, of course not. We can't let those Turians caught the mighty Alliance marines eating some sweet kiddy treats," he said while smiling. "_Oh, look those weak Alliance marines eat some kiddy treats. We Mighty Turians eat rocks and iron bar at the ages of nine." _He tried to imitate the Turian with his talk.

I laughed seeing joker does a bad imitation of Turian.

"Anyway Joker, where can we find this ice cream?" I asked him, still smiling from the joke before.

"Well, there's a convenience store near the C-Sec office selling some Bodkins Bagins Ice Cream." He said while typing something in his omnitool. "There, I transfer some credits to your omni tool. The place is not that far, just down below the docking bay. You take the lift from there and voala, ice cream."

"Are you sure this is okay Joker?" I said to him, concerned about him disobeying Captain's orders.

"Nah, I'm sure it's fine. It's not far from here anyway. It's impossible for anyone to get lost in there," said Joker, now facing the pilot console.

"All right Joker! You're the best!" With that, I leave Joker in the bridges.

* * *

Now, here I am, strollin around the Citadel street, unsure where the path would lead me. It's all that C-Sec Asari girl fault. She said to me those Bodkins Baggins Ice Cream is cheap no good ice cream and I should buy the Korgandash Ice Cream for more explosive flavor. She also said the place is not far, just walk through that corridor to presidium common and then yada yada yada. She talks so fast I can't quite remember what the last direction is.

And now after walk aimlessly for a while, I arrived at this place called Citadel Ward. Man, Doctor Chakwas is not kidding when she said this is the heart of the galaxy. It's so crowded with people, I can't really see what's going on around me. I saw many stores with a weird sign I can't read. Man, Shepard is right, I shouldn't come here without some escort.

I feel so tired after walk aimlessly for hour and take a seat near this fountain. Beside me is a Turian reading a book.

"Hey there, I can tell this is your first time in the Citadel. You seem lost and confuse," said the Turian while reading his book.

"Yeah, you're absolutely right. Citadel is so big, it's so easy to get lost," I said to him while stretching my sore leg.

"Hahaha. So, what's your business here in the Citadel?" now the Turian is put his book down.

"You know, I don't really have any business here. And you might not believe this, I actually got lost while searching this famous citadel ice cream," I smiled at my own stupidity.

"Ice cream eh? I think I can help you with that." He's now getting closer to where I sit. "If you want those famous ice cream so bad, just follow me," He whispered to me in full secrecy.

I don't know why this guy whispering over some ice cream. Maybe the ice cream is so famous, it sold out in second if other people knew about it. Well, since I got nothing to do and don't know where to go, I'll follow this guy. Man, this ice cream must taste really good.

"Are we there yet?" I asked the Turian after followed him for a long time.

"Almost there," he said bluntly. "And here we are," he exclaimed.

* * *

We arrived at this back alley on some quiet road. I saw a Krogan, lean against the wall. He smirks when he saw us approach him. Wow, Doctor Chakwas wasn't kidding when she said the Krogan is huge. He's at least seven and a half feet tall with an impressive black heavy armor on his body. He got a shotgun in his hand and seems ready to use it at any moment.

"So who the hell you bring this time Anterius?" asked the Krogan while nodding to the Turian.

"Oh, this is, what's your name…?" asked Anterius the Turian to me.

"Joe," I answered bluntly.

"All right Joe, so what's your business here?" The Krogan smirked, cocking his shotgun.

"Relax Barlog, this guy actually looking for some good quality 'ice cream'. You still got the stock right?" And then they both left me for a while, discussing something.

"All right boy, show me the credits first, then I show you the goods," said Barlog the Krogan bluntly.

"Nu uh, I want to see the goods first. You had me walk to get here." There's no way I pay something without seeing it first. I'm not that stupid.

Barlog said something to Anterius before Anterius ran into the alley and came back carrying some red dust in his hand.

"Here's the goods, now where's my credits?," said Barlog seriously.

When I saw those red dust, I'm furious. There's no f*ckin way I'm eating something like that!

"The hell is that dust? Some Krogan ice cream? Are you trying to rip me off?!" I said angrily at them.

"This is the goods you want. You ask for some 'ice cream' right?" said Anterius calmly.

"I'm not stupid you piece of shit! I know what ice cream looked like! Well, human ice cream anyway!" I exclaimed it out loud to them.

"So what're you trying to say is, you really got lost for an actual ice cream?" the Turian seems confused by my answer.

"Of course I do! Didn't I say it before?" Why the hell he asked me something so obvious.

Both of them looked at each other for a while before burst out laughing. Somehow it's annoying to see such behavior in front of me.

"Ugh, you guys start to annoy me Just give me some real ice cream and I'll be on my way," I said while tying to hide my anger.

They both stop laughing and looked at each other, smiling.

"Haha, this lil pyjak is really new on the Citadel huh?" said Barlog to Anterius

"Yeah, I guess. So what're we gonna do to this little human Barlog?" Anterius now pulled out a gun from his back pocket.

"We rob his sorry pyjak ass of course," said Barlog while cocked his shotgun.

"All right guys, forget everything I said and let me leave okay? There's no need to complicate the situation." I tried to calm them down.

They don't listen, of course. Now the situation looked bad. They've pushed me to the back alley. Now, I'm cornered. I can't do anything now beside muttering oh god under my breath.

* * *

*5 minute later

"We're sorry!" said Barlog and Anterius in unison. Their body is covered in bruises.

"We're sorry… ?!" I asked them again one more time.

"We're sorry Lord Admiral Meteor Dragon Lee!" Now they got it right.

I didn't want it to end like this. But they forced my hand, so I kicked their asses. Well, that and they act so annoying.

"What were you thinking, huh? Trying to take some advantage of my innocence?!" I exclaimed loudly

"We're sorry, We don't know what're we thinking," said Anterius the Turian.

"If you wonder, it's all this pyjak faults! He's the one who brought you here and deceived you!" said Barlog while pointing his big finger to Anterius.

"What, now you blame it all on me? I try to cover our asses here and you threw me under the bus?! Don't listen to him master! It's clear he's the one who pull the gun and initiate the robbing!" He seems angry at the Krogan betrayal.

And then they start to yell at each other. God, they're so annoying. So I hit them both. In the head.

"Shut up! You're too noisy!" I screamed at them angrily.

"I don't care whose fault this is! What I want is the ice cream! You get it?! THE ICE CREAM!" I yelled at them, rage filled my voice.

They're both silent immediately.

"I'm sorry to interrupt boss, but what kind of ice cream were you looking for?" asked the Krogan, raising his hand.

"I want Krogandash Ice Cream! The one that I can eat!" I explained to him with a loud voice. Damn, all this screamin and yellin made my throat sore.

Hearing this, the Krogan step up and approach me.

"Oh my God! Krogandash?! Why don't you tell me?!" he exclaimed it full of spirit while puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Eh, because you're too busy trying to rob me before?" I said sarcastically.

"Nah, the past is the past. We should forget it and head for the future! Korgandash is the proud of every Krogan in galaxy! It's high quality ice cream made from the finest Tuchankan Holensteinosaurus milk! It's a real delicacy loved by all species across the galaxy! They even made it for dextros like my friend here!" he explained it with full of passion.

"I have to agree with him boss, it's a real delicacy" added Anterius.

Hmm, ice cream that well liked by all species across the galaxy? Why the hell not?!

"All right then, you point the way. I want it right now!" All right Krogandash Ice Cream! Here we come!

* * *

At last, here I am! The holy ground of dessert, the pinnacle of ice cream perfection, Krogandash Ice Cream Parlor! For an ice cream parlor, Krogandash building is so grand.

There's a big statue of Krogan wearing a chef hat, whisking some ice cream in some kind of bowl. The entrance doors lead to the ice cream parlor is made with some kind of grand Krogan architecture. Inside, there's a dim light illuminating the room with this calm atmosphere despite the scary statue outside. The place is more like a high end restaurant than an ice cream parlor.

I walked to the counter and greeted by a Krogan wore this girly flowery apron.

"Welcome to Krogandash, can I take your order?" said the Krogan

"I want 2 cups of original Krogandash Ice Cream to be taken home." My voice is so cheerful and sweet, it'll give you diabetes

"All right, it'll be 3000 credits sir," said the Krogan plainly despite his cheery colorful clothes.

Now let's see. I don't know if 3000 credits are cheap or expensive, so I checked the omnitool. How much credits Joker gave me? He only gave me 500 credits. Shit….

"Sir….?" asked the Krogan suspiciously.

I froze in my place. I don't have enough credits for the ice cream. And then I saw Barlog and Anterius waiting behind me. Never I smile so wide in my life before.

"Yo Barlog! Anterius!" I asked them cheerfully.

* * *

Dammit, Barlog and Anterius left me after I made them pay for the ice cream. Now, I don't know how to find my way back to the ship. Lucky for me the bag for Krogandash ice cream is made so it can maintain the temperature of the ice cream outside the freezer. If the ice cream melted, I'll be eating a plain cream.

I walk around some more without any real direction till I arrived in another back alley. It's quiet and dark here with only those bug alien moves around without any care for the world. I climbed down the stairway and saw a Quarian, a Turian, and 2 Salarian talking to each other.

"Did you bring it?" asked the Turian while approach the Quarian.

"Where's the Shadow Broker? Where's Fist?" answered the Quarian, her voice is filled with distrust.

"Relax, They'll be here. Where's the evidence?" The Turian now stroke her face.

"No, the deal is off!" said the Quarian while brushed the Turian hand.

The Turian seems unhappy with the Quarian answer. I stood behind one of the Salarian, picking my nose, observing the whole thing. And then, the Salarian looked back and surprised when he saw me. The Quarian seems shocked too, despite me being in front of her the whole time. Maybe she's so focused to the Turian she doesn't realize me at all.

"Boss, what should we do to this bystander?" asked the Salarian to the Turian.

"Hey, just let me off, I don't hear any of that, I promise!" I exclaimed to them, shook my head furiously.

"Kill them all, we don't want any witness at all," said the Turian while cocking his gun.

Oh shit, here we go again. Can I just go back to the ship without any accident at all?

"Listen man, I don't want any trouble. I'll not tell anybody at …" before I finish my talk, bullet started to fly around the room and hit my ice cream. The ice cream is instantly disintegrated.

My ice cream…

My Krogandash Ice Cream…

My Expensive Krogandash Ice cream…

I'm furious. More than Furious. They killed my ice cream that I got with hard work, blood, and sweat

I went into berserk mode and punched the Salarian near me. He went down to the ground and I plant my foot on his face. I rolled to the back of the last Salarian and with a low sweep kick, I put him on the ground quickly. And then I took his gun and shoot him in the face. Now, the Turian faced me, point his gun at my chest. I try to shoot him, but I missed and the bullet landed just beside Shephard's head, despite him being no more than 50 meters in front of me.

But it's apparently enough to make the Turian distracted. So I charged forward and plant his head on the wall. His helmet is broken and blue blood flowed through the crack. Wait…

My bullet landed just beside Shephard's head…

Beside Shephard's Head…

Shepard…

Oh shit. My face turned blue at the moment. I turn around to hide my face. I'm gonna be in so much trouble if Shepard recognize me.

Oh dear Lord, what should I do right now…


	5. Chapter 4

**Warning: Don't throw up by the sweet stuff I put in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: ****Mass effect is not mine, you already know it. **

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**Ice Cream Rhapsody**

All right, things looked bleak right now. I must think fast or I'll be a dead man. Shit man, what should I do. They're all looking me suspiciously. I must make myself unrecognizable by these guys.

I squint my eyes, move my jaws forward and push my nose upward. I think it'll do and they won't recognize me at all. You're genius Joe! Real genius.

"Da hail are yall lookin at! People nowadays are s' rude!" I turned around to them in my disguise.

They're all just staring at me and blink. All right Joe, I think your disguise manage to fool them perfectly.

"Look commander, an ugly husk with a bad joke!" said Ashley while pointing her rifle towards me.

"Alright Ashley, it's me! Don't shoot!" I raise my hand try to shield myself. How can she see through my perfect disguise? Really a dangerous woman.

Ashley puts her rifle down while giggling slightly. Kaidan crossed his hand on his chest shook his head. And then Shepard approached me. There's a clear disappointment in his eyes.

"I thought I told you to remain on the ship, Joe," he said it right in front of me.

"I know, I'm sorry about that. But I have my reason, I swear! At first I try to buy some ice cream and then there's this Krogan and Turian and I got to kick their asses and then shit happened and then I ended up here." I tried to explain it to him as best as I could. But words never had been my strong suit so it ended up messy.

"Beating a Krogan you said?" said a big Krogan with red armor behind Shepard.

"And a Turian?" said a Turian with a blue armor also behind Shepard.

Damn, I didn't realize there's a Krogan and Turian behind Shepard.

"No, I don't mean you guys! I swear it's other Turian and Krogan that had nothing to do with you guys!" I said to them, panic because they seem to appear out of nowhere.

They didn't seems hostile, but I still got to be careful choosing my words from now on. I hope they didn't get the wrong idea.

Shepard just shook his head. I feel bad at him okay, but what's done is done.

"Impressive move you got right there kid," said the Krogan while smirking.

"Yeah, I got to say that's impressive. I don't think there's many C-Sec officer could do that," said the Turian approving what the Krogan said.

"Where'd you learn to move like that?" asked Kaidan, his eyes are full of suspicion.

"I don't know, okay? I just do. Stop looking at me like I'm some kind of bad guy." I told him, feeling uncomfortable with the way they look at me.

And then, unexpectedly, the Quarian approached us. I can't see her face so I can't tell whether she's angry or grateful, or anything really.

"Please, don't blame him about what happened. This guy just saves my life selflessly," she explained to Shepard and the others. "Fist set me up, I knew I couldn't trust him!" She seems angry about this guy called Fist. "I know how to take care of myself, but if it wasn't for him, I'll be overwhelmed by Fist guy." She explained it to the guys once more.

"If that's the case, then I should thank you Joe, for saving her life. She's the key to prove Saren involvement with the Geth. But still, don't do any reckless stunt like that ever again." Thanks god he wasn't angry at me.

"Yeah, you should tha… wait… Who the hell is Fist? Or Saren?" I asked Shepard, confused by the unfamiliar name.

"Then, you're here for the Geth memory core? Who are you guys?" asked the Quarian, her voice is filled with suspicion.

"I'm Commander Shepard, System Alliance. And these are my man," said Shepard, referring to us, the lackey.

"It's funny coincidence you know, we're just on the way to save you from Saren's guy after finishing Fist. But this guy seems to be in the right place and at the right time," said Ashley while pointing me.

"Wait Fist is dead?" said the Quarian, confused.

"By my own gun. And those guys on the floor are not Fist guy, they're Saren's guy." said the Korgan, grunting.

"Really? Then I should be thanking you all. My name is Tali'Zorah Nar Rayya and I'll repay you with this information. But not here,." Her voice is still filled with disbelief.

"I know someplace safe. We should go to the Presidium Embassies," said Kaidan plainly.

* * *

And soon, we arrived at the Presidium Embassy. Man, Presidium is much different than the Wards. It's so… Serene… and Peaceful. And there's a huge ass lake in the middle. This is like every old man's paradise. I wonder if they let me swim in there.

When we enter the embassy, there's white stuff everywhere. The floor, the ceiling, the wall, the table, event the lamp is all white. Somehow it reminds me of a pudding. Oh, and there's also Captain Anderson and Ambassador Udina. Ambassador Udina is a typical Politician douchebag I guess, he immediately whines right after we enter the room.

"You're not making my life easy Shepard. Firefight in the ward, and all out assault on the Chora's Den, do you know how many…"

"Wait, you guys playing spies while I'm not around!? Not fair, not fair at all!" I exclaimed angrily.

"And who's this?" asked Udina to me.

"That's the specimen we found on Eden Prime. I thought my order was clear that you should remain on the ship till further notice," explained Anderson while looking at me sharply.

I just scratch my head while laugh weakly, feeling nervous by the Captain gaze.

"Relax Ambassador Udina, I'm about to make your life easier now. This Quarian has the proof of Sarens involvement with the Geth," explained Shepard, smiling from ear to ear.

"Really? Then you better start from the beginning Ms…?" asked Udina to Tali.

"My name is Tali, Tali'Zorah Nar Rayya," said Tali, introducing herself to Udina.

"We don't see many Quarians here, why did you leave the flotilla?" He frowned, confuse seeing a Quarian in the Citadel.

And then Tali began to explain about her pilgrimage, about how the pilgrimage is the rite of adulthood in Quarian culture. I for once, listened to it till the end. I found myself drawn to the story of how they manage to survive living on the ship. It's interesting. At the end of her story about the pilgrimage, she finally revealed that she manages to salvage the Geth memory core after she ambushed one of the Geth patrols. This girl is tough.

Now, here's he exciting parts, tali typing something in the omnitool, and the content of the Geth memory core began to play like a sound recorder.

"_Eden Prime was a major victory. The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit," _said the mysterious voice from the memory core.

"_And one step closer to the return of the reaper," _said another mysterious voice, different from the first.

"That's Sarens voice!" said Anderson shocked. "This proves he was involved with the attack!" He seems passionate bout what he said.

"But I don't recognize the other voice" said Udina seems confused.

"The Reaper's sounds familiar to me" Shepard tries to recall something.

"The reapers, it's an old synthetic-organic race. They wiped out the Prothean 50.000 years ago from the face of the galaxy." My voice is filled with hatred while talking about it.

The room is silent. They're all shocked from hearing me talking about this out of nowhere.

"How'd you know about all of this?" asked Anderson, still shocked from the recent event.

"I don't know. But hearing the name makes my blood boil" My eyes still filled with utmost hatred.

"And the Geth seems worshiped the Reaper as a god. The pinnacle of all synthetic race." Added Tali while looking at me.

"I don't know, it's seems far fetched"said Udina, doubt filled his voice.

"Now I understand my vision on Eden Prime," said Shepard. "It's about the reaper wiping out the Prothean." His eyes seemed unfocused while recalling his memory about the visions.

"Oh, the council would love to hear this," Udina shook his head in doubt.

"No matter what the council think about the rest of this, the audio file still proved Saren is a traitor!" said Anderson, anger filled his voice.

"The Captain is right, we need to present this to the council right away," said Udina, agreeing Anderson suggestion.

"And what about her? The Quarian?" asked Kaidan, referring to Tali.

"My name is Tali," said the Quarian, angrily. "Commander, you saw me in the alley. You know what I can do. Let me come with you!" pleads Tali to Shepard.

"And what about me?" I blurted out once again, because I'm not sure what to do after all of this.

"You'll be escorted by Chief William to Huerta Memorial Laboratory immediately," said Anderson seriously.

"Aye aye, Captain" Ashley saluted the Captain and take me away.

I tried to resist, but Ashley holds me back and shook her head, told me to let it go.

We leave the embassy immediately.

* * *

"Ash, why you hold me back like that?" I asked her angrily.

"If you haven't noticed, I try to keep you out of trouble!" she shouted back at me.

"All right, I'm sorry." I hung my head low, seeing Ashley truly angry for the first time.

At this point, the walk to the Huerta Memorial Laboratory became silent. An awkward silent that made my mood turned sour. I can't stand it. Really can't stand it anymore. So I began to start a conversation with her.

"Ash, who's Fist?" I asked her curiously.

"He's some kind of petty crime lords in the Chora's Den," She answered bluntly.

The atmosphere still pretty awkward for me, so I asked her once more.

"Ash, who's Saren?"

"He's a rogue Spectre who worked with the Geth to attack Eden Prime. I thought you already heard of him in the embassy." Ash answered without looking at me.

"Ash…"

"You know what? If you want to ask questions, then ask them all at once so I don't have to explain it again and again!" She finally turns around to face me.

"No Ash, I want to thank you," I said, smiling at her.

She seems taken aback by what I said to her.

"Thanks for keeping me out of the problem," I said it to her, still smiling.

"N… no problem." She quickly turned around after answering.

I smiled happily. At least Ash didn't mad at me.

"Hey Ash, as a token of gratitude, I still have this Ice Cream from the wards!"

There's still one Ice cream left from the accident. I want to eat it alone, but as a sign of apology, I think I should offered this to her instead.

"But if you don't mind, let's eat it together! I craved this Krogandash Ice Cream for a while. And there's only one left," I asked her permission. Well, I still hungry, I hope she wouldn't mind sharing.

"Wha… What?" her voice is broken, like she was nervous or something.

"Huh?" I asked her, confused.

"Are you hitting on me?" She tuned around and stared at me seriously while asking this question.

"Define hitting," I said simply to her.

"You know what I mean!" She put her hand on her hips at this point.

"Well, I don't like to hit a girl," I said it while shrugging.

"So, you're like gay or something?" One of her eyebrow raised like she try hinted something.

"No, I mean I don't like seeing a girl got hurt." I said it bluntly, try figure out how to open this ice cream.

I swear to god, I thought I saw her blush before she turned around quickly. It must be something in my eyes. There's no way Chief William the tough soldier blushing.

"You know what, never mind…," she said, her voice is weak.

"Don't eat up all the ice cream, left me some." Her back still facing me.

"I want to taste that expensive ice cream too." She finally turned her face to me, smiling.

"There's two spoon you know, take it now, or I finish it up," I said to her while shoving some ice cream into my mouth. Damn, this ice cream's good.

She just laughs and start to eat the ice cream with me.

In the end, we walk to the lab with brainfreeze from eating two litre of ice cream.


	6. Chapter 5

**Sorry if this chapter is a bit boring because of the boring stuff I put.**

**Disclaimer: **

**Mass effect's is not mine, I get it all right...**

**Chapter 5**

**Who I was**

Here we are, Huerta Memorial Hospital. Well, I didn't think I should describe how the hospital looked like. It's just like any other hospital, but bigger, and there's a huge ass Huerta Memorial sign on the wall if it helped. There's a lot of people passed through the door, obviously, it's a public place after all.

I walked beside Ashley, still pretty much brainfreezed after 2 litres of ice cream. Apparently their regular size is a Krogan size, so it's pretty big allright. And I ate the most of it like three quarters of a cup, so the brainfreeze is pretty massive too. Good things we head down to the hospital, I might need a doctor because of this.

We enter the entrance like normal people do, but that's where the similarity ends. We continue passed the front desk and arrived at the front of janitor room. And guess what, there's the stairway that lead to this secret Alliance laboratory in the basement of the serene looking hospital. The only thought I had at the time is this gonna be so awesome!

At least till I actually got there. I try to squint my eyes in case if it was some kind of illusion. And then slap myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. It turned out to be a real janitor's room, only with some weird medical equipment, a bed and a computer console. Hell, even Normandy bathroom is bigger than this. And then of course there's this guy.

The first time I looked at him, I swear I thought he's the Janitor. He wore a blue cap, blue shirt, and a short. After further examination, it's actually a pants, folded up to the knee. And did I mention he's a weird old man?

"Professor Antiseptic?" asked Ashley to the old man.

The Professor just grunted, continue whatever he was doing on the computer.

"Ash, are you sure this is a secret Alliance laboratory?" I whispered to Ash, suspicious about the whole thing.

"It's not really a secret place, he actually don't like a bright and spacious room. So he swapped his old room with the Janitor for a more secluded place." She whispered back, explaining the whole thing.

"So, **it is, **a Janitor office…" I can't resist the urge to facepalmed myself.

"And according to the Lt, he's a bit eccentric. So, you know what to do," added Ashley, still in whispered.

And then I realize the guy already moved from his computer console and stood in front of us the whole time. Damn, is he listened to everything we said? Is he somehow offended by it?

"Hmmm…" the Professor grunted while touching my nose with his index finger.

"Eh…" I can only scratched my head in confusion.

"Hmmm…" the Professor grunted while touching my eyebrow with his index finger.

What the hell this old man doing. Seriously, what the hell is happening.

"Hmmm…" Once more, the Professor grunted while touching my nostril with again, his index finger.

"Okay, seriously old man, what the hell are you doing. Are you some kind of pervert?" I said to him, annoyed by his action.

"Hmmm…" Again, the Professor grunted while injecting some kind of syringe into my arm.

Wait…

He injects what?

Not long after that, I passed out.

* * *

*Ashley point of view

Well, the Lt told me not to worry if there's something weird happening here. And he also told me this guy is a professional. I bite my lower lips, hoping that what the Lt said was true.

Hang in there Joe, it'll be over soon.

* * *

*Professor Antiseptic point of view

Hmmm…. Aaah.. Hmmm…. Hmmmmmmmm…. Uh,,,, Aaaaaah…. Heeeeahhh….

"Hmmm…" he grunted while examining Joe with some kind of Stethoscope.

"Hmmm…" he grunted in confusion while reading Joe X-Ray results.

"Aaaah…" Okay, I don't know what the hell is he thinking…

* * *

*Joe point of view

….

…

…..

(Of course you stupid writer, he passed out and can't do anything other than farted and shit his pants!)

* * *

*5 hours later

When I opened my eyes, once again I saw this bright white light. I saw Doctor Chakwas in the corner of my eyes. I sigh in relief. Afterall, I'm still on the Normandy and all things that happened is just a dream. A weird ass dream.

It's all change when I heard the noises.

"Hmmmm…..," grunted the professor while poking me with some kind of scalpel. No, actually he stabbed me.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" I scream as hard as I could, not believing what just happen.

And then some of the usual crew rushed to the medbay, panicked after hearing my voice. Yeah, by usual crew I mean, Shepard, Ashley and Kaidan.

"Joe, are you okay?" asked Shepard concerned.

"What's happening here?" asked Kaidan, not sure what just happen.

"Joe, Shut Up!" scowled Ashley at me. Yeah, she actually scowled at me instead of concerned about my safety.

"Hmmm…" grunted the Professor while staring at me.

Why in the name of God is he doing here! Why the hell he grunted like a baby Varen!

"Hmmm…" he grunted once again.

I finally snapped at this guy.

"Grunts one more time you *********, I double dare you to grunt you *******!"

Ashley and Kaidan rushed to hold me back from hitting the Professor.

Shepard, as usual, just shook his head.

"So Professor, can you tell me how's the result of your examination?" asked Shepard to the Professor.

"Hmmm…" He grunted in response. "Well, Ya know, dhere's sumthin unusual about him fo' sore' ."

"So YOU, actually can speak?! You ********!?" Kaidan and Ashley hold me down once more when I try to hit him.

"Joe, stand down! Pay some respect to the Professor!" Shepard scolded me, his face's serious.

"But for god sake! He stabbed me! He- awww!" Before I finished, Ashley smack my head.

"Don't talk back!" She said to me with a death glare. That's enough to make me silent.

"All right professor, please continue," said Shepard calmly.

"All rite. So accordin to my examination, dhere's couple things that's unusual from dis man," said the Professor, flipping through his PDA.

"First, his skeletal anatomy and bone structure. His rib cage actually contains no floatin ribs at all, the individual ribs itself is about 50mm broader than usual human, and his lower sternum is 5 cm longer than da average human with broad round shape at the bottom without actually damaging his own internal organ." The Professor continue to flipped through his PDA.

"Dhere's also sum minor difference in his frontal lobe shape, but da most important thing is his bone structure. It's consist of somekind of highly compressed chain of carbon, similar to carbyne, but with some unknown atom attached to da carbon chain. The atom made the carbyne like structure stable enough it will not condense at room temperature." Everybody in the room is seriously silent, with the exception of me, who scratch my head in confusion.

The Professor keep his boring speech going. "Secondly, his muscle tissue and healing factor. From mere observation, his muscle tissue is no different from ours. But further observation indicated his muscle strand is actually only share the shape of human muscle, but with a characteristic of carbon nanotube. Da myocyte itself shares a physical trait to a normal human cell, but highly modified. But it's possible that the myocyte we observe is actually isn't human myocyte at all. And there's his healing factor. His cellular growth is extraordinary, allowing da cell regeneration to occur a lot faster than da average human, but somehow the anomaly in his myocyte made the regeneration process more painful."

Ashley began to feel the same with me. She actually confused and unconsciously scratch her own head.

Unfortunately, his boring ramble continued. "And da last, there's his nervous system. His peripheral nervous system is highly sensitive due to the similarity of his muscle strand to the carbon nanotube, which is highly conductive, allowing faster physical reaction than da average human. But the drawback is, his pain reception nerve is also more sensitive than da average human."

"So, he experienced pain greater than us?" asked Kaidan curiously.

"No, in his case, it's actually da same with a regular human. But with constant growth of his cell, he'll experience some physical pain from time to time caused by his extreme immunity system tryin to kill some of the overgrown cells," explain the Professor to Kaidan.

Out of any person in the room, only Kaidan and Doctor Chakwas who seems to understand to what the Professor said.

"So, what's the conclusion Professor?" asked Shepard, he seems confused too.

"There's a high probability he's a highly modified human or mutant. But it could be possible too, if he's an organic alien life, based on his difference with human," answered the Professor while tucking his PDA to his labcoat pocket.

"So, he could be a Prothean?!" exclaimed Ash, shocked with the Professor conclusion.

"Hmmm…" grunted the Professor in affirmation.

"But Professor, are you manage to actually determine what the cause of his sudden memory loss?" asked Doctor Chakwas,actually holding this weird old man from leaving.

"Naw, can't do doc. Somehow we can't see what's inside his head. Every time we tried to do a brain scanning our equipment is disrupted by an unknown anomaly. Now if yall excuse me, I gotta go." And finally the weird old man left.

"What a weird old man…" I murmured to myself.

But what the professor said is actually bugging me inside. Not the science thingy, because I have no clue what's he talking about at all, but about his conclusion in the end. It's made me wonder who I was before all the cyro block thing. Am I really a Prothean? Or I simply a freak mutant like the Professor imply?

I'll have a lot of things in my mind tonight.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks to the little dragon that review my story in every chapter despite many flaws in my stories. Your review gave me hope.**


	7. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:**

**Every Mass Effect stuff in this story is not mine, and it never will be. **

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**Doesn't Matter**

I was in a house. There's an unknown woman in front of me. Her shiny black hair is neatly knotted into a ponytail. She's wearing a glass on her green eyes. She's beautiful, in the cute way. And she's giggling while looking at me.

"You already promised!" she said playfully to me.

I don't understand what promises she talking about.

"You already promised," she said it once more.

And then my surrounding is deteriorating fast. Her smile is still in place, but there's blood flowing from her eyes. The room's is illuminated by some scary redish light

"You already promised," she said it with a playful tone. It's highly disturbing.

I tried to talk, but there's no voice came out of my lips.

"You already promised," she said it again and again. Now there's a high pitched noise ringing in my ears.

And then there's a lot of disturbing image appeared in front of my eyes. I saw a man being dissected in a dark room, still screaming and kicking. And then some more confusing image of a man inside of a tube filled with some kind of liquid.

"You already promised." She said it, again and again. The high pitched noise is getting louder and louder. So is the intensity of the image flashing in front of my eyes. I tried to cover my ears and close my eyes, but it won't stop.

And then I woke up panting, with sweat all over my body. I tried to check on my surrounding. I sighed in relief when I realize I'm still in the crew compartment of Normandy. My body's still shaking from the recent dream.

Who is that woman? What's she talking about? And then, there's the disturbing image. Question after question entered my head and I didn't know what the answer is.

After the professor left, I went straight to bed and didn't talk to anyone. My mind is too preoccupied with the matter of my origins. I didn't even sleep right away after I lie down in bed. Instead, I think about the possibilities of who I really was for hours. When I did fall asleep, there's this confusing dream.

Well, since there's no way I'm going back to sleep, better to eat something to clear my head.

* * *

In the mess hall, I saw Shepards sat alone, deep in thought. I approached him, just to have a nice chat and try to forget the dream I have earlier.

"Hi Shepard," I greeted him and take a seat in front of him.

"Oh, hi Joe. Trouble sleeping?" He asked, finally realize that I'm here.

"Nah, I'm just hungry. Is there anything to eat?" I lied to him because I don't want to talk about my dream.

"Haha. Too bad we're on military ships. Every food here is rationed," he explained. "Are you really all right? You just left without words after the Professor left. Even Chief Ashley worried. And If I remembered, you mention something about the Professor stabbed you?" Shepard asked me with full of concern.

"I think what he said about my healing is true." I showed him the area of my stomach where I was stabbed. "It doesn't even leave a scar, see?" I exclaimed. "Really, I'm okay Shepard. I think I'm just tired from the adventure I have on the Citadel," I said to him, smirking.

"How about you? You seem kinda lost in thought earlier." I asked him back, trying to change the subject.

"Haha, It's just I'm not used to sleep in the captain's quarter," he said with a bit of forced laugh.

"What? Why are you sleeping in the Captain's room?" I asked him curiously.

"I guess I owe you an explanation about what happen after you left the embassy. This matter does concern you after all," answered Shepard while rubbing his head.

"So after you left, we presented our evidence of Saren's betrayal to the council. The council agreed that Saren has gone rogue, but they despised the Reaper theory. Shortly after that, they made me a Spectre to catch Saren because they're 'busy' at the moment," said Shepard with the emphasis on the 'busy' part.

"Sounds like Udinas type, or every politician in the galaxy" I said while folding my arm.

"I know Udina is a bit 'unpleasant', but you've gotta give him some credits. In the end, he's the one who convinced the Council to make me a Spectre," explained Shepard to me.

"All right then, what about Captain Anderson?" I asked him again once more.

"He stepped down and gave the command of the ship to me. I still feel uncomfortable about his decision. But I don't doubt his reason. We need every help we can get to bring Saren down." Shepard seems tense up while talking about this matter. "And then, he also mentions something about you,"

"All right?" I waited for him to continue.

"We didn't mention anything about you at the council meeting. Captain Anderson couldn't trust the council action after the whole Sarens matter. So he thought the safest place for you is here, on the top of the line ship with highly trained crew," answered Shepard to me.

"You know, I still don't like him considered me as an object rather than a person." I frowned after hearing the reason.

"I know. But you know he got a point about placing you on the ship. Just imagine what Saren will do after he learned about you. I don't think you'll be safe on the Citadel," explained Shepard to reassure me.

I nodded in agreement after think about it for a while. "Well, at least he made the right call putting you in charge. Just imagine if it's Ashley. I don't think this ship will be safer than Saren's hand. She'll beat me everyday for doing something stupid," I said it while smirking.

Shepard just laughed in response.

"Oh, by the way Shepard, what's Spectre?" I asked him still smirking.

Shepard just smack his head after hearing the question.

* * *

So, that's what a Spectre is! It's basically a super intergalactic spy sent by the council to catch the baddies! Man, Shepard's so lucky! I want to be a Spectre too!

After strollin around for a bit, I arrived at the engine room. I came down here after I got bored watching the mako in the empty hangar bay. I saw Tali and a couple engineer working on some stuff I don't understand.

"Oh, good morning Joe," greeted Tali to me.

"Hi Tali, I don't know if it's already morning. I mean almost everyone is still sleeping, and you can't tell by looking at the window since we can't really see anything outside and-"

"We have a clock, Joe…" interrupted Tali before I finish the sentence.

"Ahh, I see…" I rubbed my head, embarrassed by my own stupidity.

She seems to giggle a bit, but I can't really tell behind those helmets.

" I haven't thanked you properly for saving me from Saren's men," she said to me gratefully.

"Nah, It's all right. I just happen to be around, and I can't stand the sight of bad guy like them harassing the innocent. It's not a big deal." I boasted a bit, hope it's sounds cool.

"Really? I remembered you tried to stay away from the fight?" asked Tali curiously.

"Really? Ahahaha…" I laughed nervously.

" You're really a strange human you know. You can destroy people like that, but you seems so uneager to get in the fight," stated the Quarian

" It's because I condemned violence and live in love and peace way of life!" I said to her while giving her a thumbs up.

"Really? I don't think getting angry because your ice cream got 'killed' is a peaceful way of life?" Tali tilted her head in confusion.

"Did I really said it out loud back then?" I'm shocked to hear her answer.

"Yeah, If you want to hear it, I have the complete record of…"

I interrupted her before she finished her answer.

"No, that's fine! Really!" I shook my head furiously at her.

"Oh, all right then," she answered simply.

"Ah all right then, you seem like a good person. I guess I would tell you why I'm so uneager to get in the fight… " I sigh in defeat. "You, see. I don't like to fight because I'm afraid.." I said to her, my eyes were closed.

"Hmm, that's weird. You don't seem like a coward when you take those guys down?" she asked one more time, curiously.

"It's not like I'm afraid of getting hurt. It's, I'm afraid of killing someone. And the prospect of me being scolded at by people I know personally is also terrifying. I know it's weird, but I don't know. It's unexplainable…" My head hung low, not sure what should I say about this. "If you ask why, I don't know myself. I barely remember anything when Shepard and the others found me inside those cyro blocks. I don't even know my own name," I said with the best forced smile I could do.

For a moment, Tali was silent. When she seems ready to ask another question, she just shook her head.

"You know, it doesn't matter how's your past. What's important is what you do right now." I guess she smiling when she said those words from behind her mask.

I smiled warmly after hearing those words. She's right, I better do something useful and keep those words close to my heart. I decided I like her and from now on, she's my friend.

"Oh, by the way Tali, I've never met a Quarian before. Why you must always wear a helmet like that?" I ask her curiously.

And then she began to explain Quarian culture to me.

* * *

Man, it's so sad being a Quarian. Being forced to leave their home, and treated like garbage by the rest of the galaxy. And then their immune system that couldn't withstand even just a breeze of air. If anyone treated Tali like shit, I'll punch them.

Back in the hangar bay I saw Ashley cleaning her gun and the shady requisition officer. I also saw the Krogan and Turian from the alley yesterday. I guess they're the help Shepards talking about. Ashley and the Turian seem kinda busy tinkering something. So I approached the Krogan to have a friendly chat.

"Hi." I said to the Krogan, waving my hand.

He just stood there, staring at me.

"Helo, my name is Joe. Who are you?" I asked him once again.

He simply stood there, staring at me like I was mad.

Hmm, maybe he's deaf? I try to poke him with my index finger. No reaction. So I moved closer to him. I stare at his face closer, still no reaction. I moved one more time to his side. And then, I began to whisper just beside his ear.

"HELLLLO MR KROOOOOGAAAAAANNNN!" I screamed as hard as I could.

And then he smacked me across my face, sent me flying to the to the mako. Ashley and the Turian guy immediately grab their guns and point it to the Krogan.

"Aw man, relax. I've just tripped and fall off, that's all," I said while rubbing my cheek.

"Yeah? I don't know you can fly from tripping like that," said the Turian guy sarcastically, still aiming the gun at the Krogan.

"Nah, I'm just trying to impress you guys with my awesome jump," Now I'm back to my feet and start to walk towards the Krogan.

"Really Joe? I'm not impressed by that. Can you do it again far away from the Krogan?" said Ashley, trying to stop me from approaching the Krogan.

"Relax guys, put your gun down. I'm just having some 'friendly' chat with the Krogan." Now, I stood in front of The Krogan.

He stared at me with a smirk. So did I.

"YOU SONOFA****!" I scream with hatred while throwing the Krogan to the mako.

The Krogan crashed and made the mako slide for a few feet. He immediately back to his feet and began to charge at me, head first. I merely dodged his attack before he stop and turn around to throw a punch at me. His huge fist connected to my skull, send me to the ground quickly. I rolled to the side just before he slam his body to the ground. I quickly try to get up and do a headbutt to his head. Both of us staggered from the impact and fall off to the ground.

When both of us ready to throw our next punch at each other, Shepard interrupted us.

"That's enough!" said Shepard while trying to break up the fight. "Continue this fight, and both of you will not eat for a week!" he exclaimed it to us with a death glare.

It's enough to make both of us silent.

"Godammit, I've had enough with the council, now this…" mumbled Shepards while leaving the hangar bay.

"You know what, you're not half bad. You've got a quad on you, kid. Hehehe…," said the Krogan, laughing.

"Now, would you tell me your name?" I asked him casually.

"Urdnot Wrex," he said it bluntly

This Krogan dude seems interesting.


	8. Chapter 7

**The last 2 chapter's bit dark. But this chapter will be back to the cheerey, stupid and full of crap like usual.**

**Disclaimer:**

**I only own a copy of mass effect games, not the whole franchise. **

* * *

**Chapter 7**

**Mission Briefing**

Finally, Ashley lecture is over. She seems so upset about me having a 'friendly' chat with Wrex and told me how stupid I am, and how I would get myself killed if I did that with a random Krogan. She also hit me in the head, which is really hurt. That girl sure can punch hard.

I finally arrived at the mess hall for my favorite time in the whole universe, breakfast time. I grab my food tray and approached the 'on duty' mess, Sgt Johny Atkins.

"Oy Atkins, something with my portion!" I said to him while holding my food tray.

"No Effin way, your portion means the whole ship provision. You'll get the same size as everyone. No poutin, no swearin, or you'll get a bullet to your head as your side dish," said Atkins bluntly.

"But Wrex got more than I do!" I pointed at Wrex's plate while he leaves the mess hall with a mountain, literally, mountains of food.

"Well, the last time I check, you got no scale or a giant lizard. So, no," he said while handing me regular sized food.

"Fuck you Atkins!" I huffed and storm out of the food line with my food.

"You're welcome kid. Next!" said Atkins, calling for the next person in line.

I sat in one of the empty tables. Atkins is so stingy, I hope he ran out of tissue while he take a dump. And then, the Turian from before came and take a place in front of me when I'm about to take a bite of my food.

"Hey, it's Joe right?" asked the Turian, shoving his food to his mouth.

"Yeah, you're the Turian who always said 'I'm in the middle of Calibrating' when I ask for your name." I chew on my food when I answered him.

"Yeah, that Turian. Although I'm pretty sure I'm the only Turian here," he said half sarcastically I suppose. "Anyway, my name isn't that Turian guy by the mako. It's Garrus Vakarian." I don't really pay attention to what he said. I'm too distracted by his food.

"Oh yeah, sure Mr. Vaganian. By the way, it's so fascinating to see your food is so much different than mine," I said while looking at his food.

He just stared at me in response.

"Well, I guess it's some kind of human joke I don't really know. And if you're really getting 'fascinated' by my food, by all means you can try it. If you don't mind dying because of food poisoning afterwards," he answered sarcastically.

I only hear the 'by all means part' so I try to take some of his food with my fork. He blocks my fork with his own fork (please note it's just a fork, there's no implicit sexual joke in the phrase whatsoever). I try to take it once more, but again, he blocked it.

"Seriously, you'll die from eating this… don't," he said while blocking my fork.

I didn't really pay attention to what he said.

"Did you understand sarca -no, sarcasm at -really don't, at all?" His words are broken from the concentration to hinder my stealing attempt.

"Sure, sure Mr. Vaganian. I understand." I said it, still trying to get his food.

And then he punched me in the nose.

"First, it's Vakarian. Just call me Garrus in case you misspelled my last name again. And second, you must incredibly stupid for wanting to eat dextros Turian food. And the last, what I said before is sarcasm because no one, NO ONE, take my food from my plate without my permission," he said seriously.

"Point taken!" I said with my thumbs up, and with bloods flowing from my nose.

"Anyway, It's incredibly 'impressive' to be able to pissed off a Krogan like that. Though, it's not surprising anymore after seeing you in person. But, really. No one would be alive after that kind of situation except for you," he said while eating his food.

"Well, thanks, I guess," I said with a shrug.

"But it's incredibly stupid as well. As amusing as it can get, you still could get yourself killed. Another random Krogan on the street would not be as kind as Wrex." Now he's looking at me seriously when he said this.

"It's not like I'm gonna be walking on the street and pissing some random Krogan off randomly," I rolled my eyes sarcastically.

"Well, what I've seen in the hangar bay isn't exactly 'well planned' attempt to annoy Wrex," he answered sarcastically. I guess it's a Turian thing to use extensive sarcastic words in every sentence. That, and the word 'Calibrating'.

"Yeah, I know. It's incredibly stupid. Ash already punched me because of that. You don't have to bring it back up," I said while chewing my food.

"Seriously, we're off to bring Saren down. Your naivety could jeopardize our whole mission. Just remember what I said. The world isn't some kind of playground you think it is. It's a playground filled with land mines and booby traps in the place you less expected. You gotta do what you gotta do to cross the field." With this, Garrus finished his meal and leave the mess hall.

I don't get it. How sarcastic joke and uptight behavior like that could mix so well. Well, the thought could wait till I finished my meal.

* * *

After talking with Tali a bit in the engine room, I found myself wandering around the ship without any particular reason. I notice something weird with the crew on this ship. They actually can be found in the particular area or spot on the ship.

Wrex is always standing near the equipment locker in the hangar bay. Garrus is always by the mako, 'calibrating' something. Ashley is always on the weapon modding bench near the equipment locker. Kaidan is always by the console in the living quarters, just beside the mess. Tali's always in the engine room. Joker's always on the pilot seat on the bridge. Actually, scratch that. I forgot Joker is the pilot, it's obvious his particular spot is in the pilot bridge, so it's not weird at all.

After wondering about such a strange phenomenon, I realize I haven't chat with Kaidan properly since I'm on this ship. So here I am, standing behind Kaidan. Watching him typing something on the console. Seems like some kind of e-mails.

"Hey Kaidan, whtacha writing about," I said casually while picking my nose.

He immediately squeals a bit and turn around in shock.

"Why are you screaming like that? It's weird," I asked him, still picking my nose.

"Look who's talking!," said Kaidan still looking shocked. "Anyway, what're you thinking sneaking around behind my back like that." He seems annoyed by my action before.

"I think, there's interesting stuff on the screen because you seem glued to the computer," I said it plainly.

"You read it didn't you?" asked Kaidan seriously.

"What?" I tilted my head in confusion.

"Don't play dumb with me Joe, you read the letter don't you?" he asked one more time.

"Ahh, so that was a letter. That's why there's dear ****** (censored due to request) on the first part!" I said it out loud, 'unintentionally'.

"Joe you-" I interrupted him before he said anything.

"SO KAIDAN GOT A GIRL FR-MBHHBSHBH" Kaidan put his hand on my mouth before I try to say it out loud again, 'unintentionally'.

"Joe, you! Fuck! Don't tell anybody and I'll treat you to Krogandash ice cream," whispered Kaidan in panic.

"Make it 2 premium flavored Krogandash, and it's a deal!" I said it to him while folding my hand.

"No, 1 premium and 1 original," said Kaidan, countering my offer.

"All right, deal!" I shook his hand in agreement.

"Anyway, what's the big deal about having a girlfriend?" I asked him curiously.

"You know what, anybody but Shepard shouldn't know anything about this," he said while rubbing his forehead in frustration. "She's not my girlfriend Joe, at least not yet." His voice is getting lower and lower in the last part.

"It's all right Kaidan. You can tell me everything! I'm a really trustworthy person!" I exclaimed with my head held high.

"Somehow, I'm not convinced by that…," said Kaidan.

"Ow come on! Who in the name of heaven I'm gonna tell? Well, maybe Wrex or Ash, but I'm not gonna tell anyone!" I said with serious looks.

He answered with a death glare.

"It's a joke…" I said it meekly.

"Why'd you want to know anyway? I bet you're just going to make fun of me…" once again, he rubbed his forehead in frustration.

I cough when I heard his answer.

"Of course no Kaidan! How could I do that to you! I'm not a monster!" I exclaimed it out loud to him.

"You'll not going to leave until I tell you, don't you...," he said it with full of despair.

I just stood there, stared at him while picking my nose as my answer.

"Ughhh… All right. But I beg you, don't tell anyone about this! We had a deal remember?" he said with a glare.

"Yeah, yeah. Just tell me already!" I answered with eyes full of curiosity.

And then the awkward silent began.

"Uhhhh, where should we start?" Kaidan seems confused, not sure what to say.

"Allright?" I wait for him to speak.

*10 minutes later

"Uhmm…," He still unsure about what to say.

*20 minutes later

"Hmmm…" again, he still unsure about what to say.

"Oh god, just spit it out already!" I yelled at him, feeling annoyed.

And then Joker voice filled the room from the intercom.

"_Uhh, to the usual ground team, *cough means not you Atkins. Commander John Shepard wants your ass in the Comm room soon, I mean right now!" _said Joker from the intercom.

"Oh look! Shepard's calling! Hahaha…." With that, Kaidan leaves the area as quickly as he can.

* * *

Comm room, somehow this room gave me this eerie feeling I can't explain that really gave my stomach a weird sensation. Or maybe it's just Garrus food that I manage to steal… I'm not sure.

I sat beside Tali and across Kaidan. I stare at him, and then squint my eyes at him to hint that our talk is not done yet. He looks away immediately, trying to ignore my stare as hard as he can.

"All right team, I'm going to start our briefing on our next mission. Any questions before we start?" asked Shepard to the team.

Ashley immediately raised her hand.

"Commander, I know from the crew that we'll hit the ground soon. Are you sure we have to bring untrained personnel on the mission?" said Ashley, pointing her finger at me.

"Hey, I can kick ass!" I exclaimed in protest to Ashley statement.

"Really? I'm not sure the Geth would be so kind to allow you fist fighting them?" said Ashley sarcastically.

"Haha! I would pay to see that happen. That would be amusing!" said Wrex, chuckling at his own thought.

"Wait, is this another human joke? Did I miss something again?" asked Tali in confusion.

"No Tali, we are just discussing Joe stupidity could jeopardize our mission," explained Garrus to Tali.

"I'm not stupid you stupid!" I yelled in anger at Garrus.

"Look who's talking? At least I'm not trying to eat human food!" exclaimed Garrus in full sarcastic mode.

My stomach grumbled in agreement.

"So you want to fight this out?! Bring it on chicken face!" I said to him angrily.

"Really? First contact war insult? We don't even know what a chicken is. But if you want to fight, that's fine by me!" answered Garrus to me.

"And I don't even know what the hell is first contact war!" I answered back to him, hoping that my come back line is good.

"Ha! There's no way your sorry Turian ass could beat Joe! You can't even beat the Krogan without genophage!" Wrex blurted out of nowhere.

"Stay your wrinkly ass out of this old man!" said Garrus calmly to the Krogan.

"Oh yeah? Make me! I could bring both of you down in a brawl, solo!" Wrex stood up in, ready to fight.

"Why the hell you involve me, you stupid giant lizard! I don't do anything wrong to you!" I exclaimed to Wrex angrily.

And then, the three of us began to yell insults at each other.

"I'll never understand alien…" said Tali, shook her head in confusion.

Suddenly Shepard pulled his pistol out and fired it upward. The room's instantly silent.

"Now the room is silent, I can continue the briefing," said Shepard while putting his gun back in the holster. "To answer Chief Gunnery William question, I don't even know why the hell Joe's here." He shook his head, feeling confused by my presence in the Comm room.

"But, we can agree on one thing. Joe is not an 'able' shooter." The whole team nodded in agreement except for me. "We will not bring him to our next mission due to his 'inability' to shoot straight," answered Shepard to Ashley question. "To put it bluntly, you're a shity shooter Joe, we can't bring you on our next mission." The whole person in the room, once again, nodded in unison.

My feeling is somehow got hurt by this.

"But, aside from that, some of you may realize Joe got a potential to be a good soldier. The question is, who from among us will bring the potential out of Joe?" asked Shepard to the team.

"You mean, we must teach him how to shoot properly?" asked Garrus, shocked by Shepards question.

"Yes," answered Shepard simply.

The whole room's silent in response.

And then Ashley once again, raised her hand.

"Why don't we take turn to teach him?" suggested Ashley to Shepard.

"That's a good idea, who's gonna be the first person to teach him?" asked Shepard once more to the team.

The whole room's once again silent in response.

"All right then, we're gonna have a lottery to decide who'll be the first." With that Shepard leave the room.

Shortly, he came back with some straw in his hand.

"All right people, now each of you going to pull 1 straw from my hand. The one who got the shortest straw have to be the first person to teach Joe and stay on the ship for the whole mission," explained Shepard to the whole team.

All of us hesitantly came forward to take the straw.

"Joe, sit back. You're not included!" said Tali to me.

So I sit back, watching the whole team nervously pick their straw.

After a while, somebody finally said something.

"Oh god, why me…," said Ashely in disbelief. Her head's hung low in despair.

The whole room sighed in relief.

"All right Chief William, you're going to oversee his training during our mission," ordered Shepard to Ashley.

"Aye aye, sir," she answered weakly.

"For the rest of you, our next mission is on Artemis Tau cluster. We must locate and extract an Asari scientist by the name of Liara T'soni," explained Shepard to the team. "She should have some important Intel regarding Saren's plan. So it's important for us to bring her out of the harm's way," explained Shepard further. "We approaching the Artemis Tau cluster in about 1 hours, all ground teams expected to be ready at any moment when we arrived at our destination." With that, Shepard dismissed the briefing.

All right! I'm on fire about my first military training! I'll show them I can be a good soldier too! I will not let myself and Ashley down!

This training's gonna be super interesting!

* * *

**A/N: Thank's for your awesome review, dear reader. It really means a lot to me. Thank's for your awesomeness once again!**


	9. Chapter 8

**So one of my friend told me my canon character is a bit out of character. I'll try my best to prevent that from happening. Let me know if I do wrong.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Mass effect is the property of bioware.**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**Cocked and Loaded**

All right, today is the day we shed our blood! The day we spill our guts! The day of pain and gain! The day where our sweats will be super stinky! The day where I would receive firearms training!

Here I am, in the hangar bay, constantly paced back and forth, nervous with the whole situation. Shepard and most of the ground team has already left for the mission. There's no telling what's gonna happen in the middle of the training.

I could get hurt really bad, or even die. Or maybe I could explode and my guts will fly off everywhere? Or maybe the ship could blow up because someone left the toaster on the computer console? Or maybe we'll be attacked by super intelligent alien thresher maw? Or it could be worse, super intelligent and sensitive space cow and his friend Barney?! Or maybe Joker could suddenly turn into a Krogan? Or maybe Ashley is actually is a robot terminator wanting to destroy the whole universe? Or maybe the spaghetti I ate last night is a lie? Or maybe It's all just a dream? Or maybe this is not even real at all? Is this world real? Is this ship real? Am I real?

There's a lot of questions running through my head, and one of the questions really got me thinking. Who I really am? I sat in silence with the thought lingering in my mind. And then I remembered what Tali said to me. It doesn't matter who I was before, the important thing is what I do now. My lips curled into a smile as I stood up and looks upwards. I'm gonna do my best!

And then I feel a pat on my shoulder. I quickly turned around and saw Ashley with her hand folded on her chest.

"I'm impressed! You actually came before the training started. I thought you're gonna be late," she said to me while smiling.

"I'm super excited about this whole training thingy!" I said while pointing my finger upwards. "Maybe even too excited because I feel like I'm about to puke right now. . ." My head hung low because of the dizziness.

"Hahaha, it's called nervousness. So you're human after all, being able to feel nervous. I thought a shameless person like you couldn't feel nervous," she said half teasing.

"Oh, all right! Just start the training already!" I answered with clear annoyance in my voice.

"You know, your spirit is higher than most of the recruit. Maybe this training won't go bad as I previously thought," she smiled brightly from my eagerness to begin the training.

"All right, let's see. Even thought you're chuby, your physical condition is surprisingly good, so we will skip PE. Your hand to hand combat is all right I guess, but it need polishing. You rely on brute strength too much. But it's not that urgent at the moment, so we'll also skip that." She rubbed her chin, mumbling to herself.

I'm just standing here, picking my nose while watching her confusing herself.

"All right then. I guess we'll do some basic shooting," She said while taking some gun from the equipment locker.

"Okay Joe, did you ever use a gun before the accident in the wards alley?" asked Ashely to me.

"Remember the 'accident' you talkin about is just after you found me in a block of cryo? So no." I answered sarcastically. "Except if you're talking about my other 'gun', I know how to use it, and don't mind to show you how to-" She punched me right before I finished.

"Okay, I get it Joe. We will start with weapon introductions now." Her face is flushed red in embarrassment after hearing my answer.

"All right, as you can see, in my hand is a pistol. It's a standard Kessler for an alliance soldiers. This pistol is useful in many situations because of the compact size and easy to handle recoil. It's useful in close to medium range firefight, but it has a small bite. So unless you're some kind of biotic, use it as a sidearms only, especially against the geth with their shields up." She put the pistol down on the table in front of her, and continue with the next weapon.

"The next is an assault rifle. This is a standard Alliance Lancer assault rifle. A versatile weapon for any situation, useful in a medium range firefight. "

I didn't really listen to her long and boring explanation about the gun. I didn't care what it is, if it's goes bang bang, it's a gun for me. Instead, I took one of the gun from the table. So this is a pistol, it's really neat. I ran my finger trough the boxy shape of the front barrel and feel the curve of the trigger guard in my hand. This gun is sexy.

Suddenly the gun really goes boom and the bullet landed just in front of Ashley's feet. Well, I guess you know what happened next.

"Next time you do that again, I'll shoot you in the ass!" She glared at me with the deadliest glare I've ever seen.

I nodded slowly in response, fear for my ass safety.

After the long explanation about each gun, we finally got to shoot something. Since the Normandy doesn't have any dedicated gun range, we do our shooting in the deserted hangar bay with a modified gun which reduce optimal range and destructive power significantly.

Ashley set the target on top of an empty crate. She gave me a pistol first, because she said it's the basis to understand the next gun. So here I am, holding a pistol and about to seriously shoot something for the first time in my known life.

"Just point and shoot, right?" I said to her, shooting at the target immediately. It misses.

"Listen to my instruction first, dumbass!" she said while smacking my head.

"This is a serious matter! Gun is not a toy! Treat it with respect, or something bad will happen!" she scolded me for my carelessness.

"Aye aye, ma'am. . ." I answered while rubbing my head.

"Listen, you have to aim from the gun sight. Adjust your sight, and then you can shoot," she said, gave me some advice.

All right, you can do it Joe! I positioned my gun in front of me with my arms stretching. I aim through the gun sight, and do my best to adjust my aim. It's the moment of truth. My hearth is beating so fast. Everything around me move in slow motion. Sweat drizzle from my face, falling to the ground, drop by drop. I move my finger in front of the trigger. I'm ready to squeeze it at any moment. And then bang. . .

The target is falling into the ground.

My eyes are watering as I about to cry in joy. Every burden and doubt I have before, vanished as the target fall. I brought my hand upwards with a roar of victory. I hit my first target! I'm geniusly awesome!

And then I saw Ashley with her hand on her face.

"Ashley! I hit the target! I HIT THE TARGET!" I exclaimed it at her with full of joy.

"Joe. . .," she said weakly.

"Yeah Ash?" My face is still full of joy.

"The target is very close. . ." She finally drops her hand and show her face to me.

"And I hit it, I hit it hard." I couldn't help myself from smiling ear to ear.

"OF COURSE YOU HIT IT YOU *****! It's only half a meter! It's basically point blank! Even a dog shit could do better than that!" she scolded me furiously. "And who told you to shoot! I haven't given you a go! Now move your asses and do 100 one handed pushups!"

"Aye aye, ma'am. . ." I do it reluctantly, fearing for my ass safety.

"Now move back 50 meters and do it seriously this time!" ordered Ashley to me.

"Aye aye, ma'am. . ." I immediately move to my position.

Once again, I aim the gun from the sight just like before. And then I squeeze the trigger. The gun goes bang. But the bullet is nowhere to be found.

"You pull the trigger too early. Your firing stance is also wrong. And stop holding your gun 'gangsta' style!" she quickly correct my stance and gun holding.

I give it a go one more time. I aim the gun from the sight, and pull the trigger. Again, the bullet is nowhere to be found after the gun goes bang.

"Ashley, I think there's something wrong with the gun! It fires, but there's no bullet coming out of it!" I protest slightly to Ashley.

"Of course is the gun's fault! How dare they mess with my shot," said Ashley sarcastically.

She took the gun from my hand, and shot at the target. The target falls off to the ground.

"See, that's how'd you do it. Now do like what I do." She handed me back the gun while smiling to me.

"Ehhh, I'm hungry. Can we do lunch time first?" I asked her lazily.

She answered with a fist on my head. Damn, she hit me a lot after the event with professor Antiseptic.

"No lunch until you do it right!" ordered Ashley to me.

"Aye aye, ma'am. . ."I reluctantly move back to my firing position.

This training's suck balls.

*5 hours later.

"Well, I think I'm not too bad! Look at the targets!" I exclaimed proudly.

"Yeah, you managed to hit five targets out of ten. . .," she said weakly with her head hung low.

"What did I do wrong? I have already taught him as hard as I could. . .," she murmured something to herself.

"What's wrong? Five out of ten is not that bad, right?" I asked her curiously about the result of my training.

"Yeah, five out of ten, with a hundred of bullets in the course of five hours. That's not bad at all. . .," she said sarcastically, her head is still hanging low in despair.

"Hehehe. . ." I could only laugh weakly from the spot on sarcasm.

"Come on Ash, I think it's a good time to take a break," I said to her with a smile.

"Yeah, you might be right. . .," she weakly moved from her seat and followed me to the mess.

* * *

"I still don't get it. . .," said Ashley with her mouth full of macaroni. "In my whole military career, I've only met a single person who couldn't shoot straight at 50 meters after 5 hours training. . ."

"Hey! I managed to hit some of the targets!" I protest at her remarks.

"Yeah, and you managed to hit the equipment locker on your back while aiming straight. I'm impressed!" she giggled at my ridiculous accomplishment.

"I don't know the bullet could bounce like that! It's not my fault!" I huffed angrily while shoving foods in my mouth.

"I'm sorry if I hurt your feeling, chuby," she said to me, obviously teasing.

"I'm not fat!" I exclaimed in disagreement.

"I know, but you still chubbier than the rest of the manly crew on this ship!" she giggled, teasing me like there's no tomorrow.

"You know what, let's talk about other things more important than this." I scratch the back of my head uncomfortably. "Hey, is it just me, or you're always eating mac n cheese or those chicken parmijoni thingies?" I asked her, trying to change the subject.

" Aw Joe, are you always watching me? I'm flattered." She's still giggled in full teasing mode.

I just shrug in response. Still curious about her choice of meal.

"Anyway, it's chicken parmigiana. I guess I ate these two a lot because it's reminding me of home," she took a bite of her mac n cheese while telling her story. "You know what, I've live with a lot of siblings. Four in total, and all of them is a girl. I'm the only one who sucks at cooking. The only thing I can cook is simple mac and cheese."

"Somehow I'm not surprised. . ." I mumbled under my breath.

"Excuse me?" she asked with her eyebrow raised.

"Nothing, please continue. It's all just your imagination." I laugh nervously in fear for my ass safety.

"All right, so one of my siblings, I think it's Sarah, she's always cooks this dish in the anniversary of my father's death. I think this is his favorite dish." Her heads hung low with her lips curled into a sad smile.

Hearing this, I refrain myself from teasing her. Now I'm not sure what to say. I feel bad for her. But it also brought back my thought about my past. Did I have this kind of family too before all of this happened?

"Seems like you have a lovely family there," I said it to her with a faint smile.

"Hell yeah. We moved a lot when I was a kid from colony to colony due to my dad's assignment. So we tended to be close, since we never really had a chance to be close with anyone," She smiled at the thought of her past.

I can only respond to her statement with a faint smile. I think she also noticed this because she quickly change the subject.

"Anyway Joe, just remember we are a family on this ship. If you have any problems or thought, you can talk to me anytime," she said wholeheartedly.

My heart feels strangely warm hearing Ashley words of encouragement. All of them are my family, I'll keep those words close to my heart.

"All right then, you'd better show me some good chicken parmijano when we're on the citadel." I said to her while finishing my food.

"Are you asking me for a date?" she raised her eyebrows on my statement.

"Not really. But if you really want to date me so bad, you're paying." I said to her bluntly.

She just laughs in response.

"All right then, let's get back to the training. I think I know what weapon you can use with decent accuracy." She punched me lightly on my arms before leaving the mess.

And so we're back to hangar bay to finish the training. I hope it'll be good this time.


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:**

**Mass effect is the property of Bioware**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**Vomit of Mass Destruction**

So here we are again, in the hangar bay, ready for another hour of blood and sweat in the name of marksmanship training. Ashley, once again explained about gun safety and other things about gun just like before, just in case I forgot the last explanation and shoot myself in the progress. I, as usual, didn't feel like paying her attention, instead I try to grab one of the cool guns.

But unlike before, she was ready. Just before I grab one of the guns, a bullet landed just in front of my feet.

"Ckckck, try that again, it'll be your leg next," she warned me while placing the still smoking gun on top of the table.

I nodded immediately with cold sweat dripping all over my body

"All right then, we'll skip the assault rifle and the sniper rifle for you. You already know the reason, so refrain yourself from asking stupid questions." She now turned her back to me to grab a gun inside a crate.

"Here's the one just for you, the shotgun!" She placed the shotgun in front of me. "Here's the simple explanation, you just cocked it, point it, and blast your enemy with this, the bullet spread will take care of your bad marksmanship. But it's only useful in close quarter battle." And then her face turned serious. "Never ever shoot this with your **ally **standing in front of you." She emphasized the word ally really clear.

"Aye aye, ma'am!" God, I'm so excited to try this badass looking gun.

So now, the moment of truth. I cocked the shotgun, aim it, and then bang. . .

The shotgun butt smack my face really hard and made staggered a bit. That, and Ashley fist connected into my face.

"I'm not finished yet you dumbass!" Once again, she scolded me really hard. "No one with the right head aim a shotgun like they aim a rifle! It doesn't have a buttstock! Don't lean it against your shoulder and peep the sight directly in front of your eyes!"

"All right Ash, I get it! I gave her a thumbs up with my eyes blackened from the shotgun and her fist.

I stood 50 meters from the target. I cocked the shotgun, aim it like Ashley told me to, and squeeze the trigger. The Target fell off to the ground. It's the best feeling in the world.

"Now Joe, that's not bad! Not bad at all!" she patted me on the back to congratulate me.

"Joe?" she asked curiously because I didn't respond at all.

I sobbed with the tears of joy. I wiped my tears and turned my face to Ashley.

"I did it. . .," I whispered quietly to Ashley. "I DID IT!" I screamed hard with my hand launched into the air.

Ashley about to open her mouth to say something, but she refrains herself. Instead, she just smiled and shook her head.

"All right, time to take a break. Now, we wait for Shepard to take me on the mission! I don't know shooting shotgun is this easy," I said it bluntly.

That's enough to wiped Ashley smile from her face and turned that into a glare. And the inevitable things happened. . .

"Now get your ass ready for some target shooting with the shotgun, and after that we'll do moving target practice," ordered Ashley to me.

"Aye aye, ma'am. . ." I said it slowly because my swollen cheek.

And so, we continue another hour of pain and agony in the name of training with Ashley Williams.

* * *

After an hour or so we did our training, Shepard and the other team arrived from the mission. I immediately notice the gloomy atmosphere that's thick within the team. But the most prominent thing is sorrow and anger in Shepard's face.

I want to ask him what's wrong, but I didn't dare to say anything to him at the moment. He quickly leaves the hangar bay and shut himself in the captain's quarter. The rest of the team followed and leave to their respective area.

Ashley, who is unsure about what happened leave the hangar bay to the upstairs, I presume to comfort Shepard in some way. I didn't know what to do, so I went down to the engine room to ask Tali what's going on.

"Hey Tali, where's Doctor T'soni? I thought the mission was to extract her. Is something wrong happened?" I asked her worried more than curious.

"We do search for Doctor T'soni in the Sparta system. But instead of founding her distress signal, we found an alliance distress signal," explained Tali to me.

"All right, so where's the marines?", I asked her once more, this time out of curiosity.

Tali paused for a moment before answering my question.

"They're dead, attacked by a thresher maw. Apparently, the signal is fake, set by someone with unknown motives." Her head is hung low now. "I think Shepard is terribly upset about the event. It seems really personal to him. But none of us dare to ask any question."

Her voice is weak, she obviously worried about Shepard just like me.

I walked out of the engine room with a lot of questions in my mind. Who in the name of god luring someone to be eaten by a thresher maw? What did they gain by that? By the time I finished my deep thinking, I arrived at the mess hall. I saw Ashely sat alone in the middle of the room.

"Hey Ash, how's Shepard?" I took a seat in front of her.

"I don't know. There's no answer when I knock on his door." She shook her head, didn't have any idea about this matter.

Just before I ask more question to Ashley, the door to the captain's quarter was flung open. Shepard came out of the room in a hurry, and then he looked at us.

"Assemble the team in the Comm room. I have a news regarding Doctor T'soni Location," said Shepard, looking focused as usual. He seems to get over things quickly.

With that, Shepards leaves the mess hall.

* * *

We assembled in the comm room to hear the news about this Doctor T'soni. I sat in the middle of Ashley and Kaidan because that's the last seat available. I prefer the corner because it's easier to get out.

"All right, we have a news regarding Doctor T'soni location. Recently, we found an Asari Republic distress signal in Planet Therum of Kronos system. We will arrive in about 3 hours. Any questions?" Explained Shepards to the team.

"How did we know this isn't another trap?" asked Garrus to Shepard.

"There's Geth activity on the planet surface, and the signal is just recently turned on. Doctor T'soni may not have a lot of time. We must get there as soon as possible." Answered Shepard.

I raised my hand next.

"Hey, can I go to the next mission?" I plead to Shepard, hope he will take me on the mission.

"Ashley, how's the training going?" asked Shepard to Ashley

"Well, the shotgun training's went well, but-" I interrupted her before she finished.

"I'm ready." My eyes are filled with determination when saying those words.

Shepard stared into my eyes for a moment. And then he nodded in agreement.

"But Commander, he-" this time, Shepard interrupted Ashley before she finished.

"Therum is filled with Prothean ruin. I believe his skill is suitable for a close combat environment. Most of us already tired from the earlier mission, so it's not hurt to bring some extra help to the mission," explained Shepard to Ashley.

"Aye, aye,Commander," answered Ashley in agreement, not willing to disobey the Commander's order.

"All right, if there's no questions left, some of you may want to get some shut eye to replenish yourself from the earlier mission. I'll be in my room if you guys need anything."

With the final words from Shepard, the briefing is over.

* * *

I'm in the hangar bay once again, preparing my equipment for the next mission with the help of Ashley. She gave me a basic Alliance Storm shotgun, a Kessler pistol and Onyx medium armor. The armor is a bit tight, but it got a magnetic holster so I don't have to carry my gun all the time.

Ashley told me to stay by her side all the time after we dismounted from the Mako. Oh yeah, we're going to ride the Mako because apparently, the landing zone is littered with Geth anti air weapons, so we have to land a bit far from the objective. How cool is that, riding the Mako and blasting some Geth. I'm really looking forward to this mission.

Soon I find myself inside the Mako, descending into Therum surface. I immediately change my thought about the coolness of Mako. My face is pale with shock and horror. My head's heavy, and everything seems spinning. I cursed under my breath for allowing myself into this kind of situation. Everybody looked in my direction, their face is full of concern.

"Hahaha, don't tell me this Pyjak got a motion sickness!" Wrex laughed at my misery.

"I'm surprised! I thought as human said, stupid people can't catch a motion sickness?" Garrus snickered like a vorcha thrown into a lava.

"I believe it's stupid people can't catch a cold, Garrus. But I agree he's not so smart." Ashley joined the band with her teasing.

"Do you want some anti motion sickness medicine, Joe?" asked Tali to me.

I shook my head in disagreement. There's no way I would let my pride fell so low by taking anti motion sickness medicine.

"Do you want some candy? It'll help a bit," Kaidan offered me some candy from his pocket.

I glared at him. Candy? My badass point would drop so low I'll become an old granny pyjak. But I took it anyway. What could I say? I like candy.

When Shepard said the place is crawling with the Geth, he wasn't kidding. Our journey consists of shooting and jumping a lot that really turned my stomach upside down. Finally, after 45 minutes of agonizing ride that felt like a century come to an end. We dismounted from the Mako to check our surrounding because there's a huge gate blocking our way.

Therum is beautiful. It has this reddish rocky surface with mountainous terrain. There's also a stream of lava stretching across the land. Scary and evil looking, but it's nice. You might think this is the place where a mad scientist with a mwahahaha laugh creating an army of zombies, but once you look at the lava flow, it's hypnotizing. But, there's more important things to do right now than savoring the beauty of my surroundings.

I crouch near the lava stream with my hand clutching my stomach. Cold sweat dripping all over my body and my face is as pale as an albino space cow.

"Hoeeeeeeeeekkkk," I puked at the lava stream, leaving a trail in the form of a very stinky steam that could be made into weapons of mass destruction.

"Looks like this gate can only be opened from inside the compound," said Kaidan while examining the gate.

"We must find another way to go around it, Commander," suggested Ashley to Shepard.

"You know, how strange is it to have a convenient way around this gate like that pass over there? It's **too** convenient," said Garrus with his usual sarcasm.

"We don't have another choice Garrus. We have to go around through that pass or we'll run out of time. Everybody gets inside the Mako, now!" Ordered Shepard to the team.

Me who was silent the whole time finally spoke up some words.

"NO F*CK** WAY! I'll open this gate for you as long as I stay outside of that thing!" I pointed at the Mako as the source of my misery.

"What the hell are you talking about? Get inside now!" ordered Ashley to me.

I didn't listen. Instead, I climbed the gate to get inside the compound. I climbed down instantly after I reached the top. They're all looking at me curiously.

"There's a huge ass Geth Turret over there. . .." My voice are weak with despair.

I reluctantly climbed inside the Mako without saying anything else. Tali pat me on my back and offer me the anti motion sickness medication. I took it and sigh in defeat. My life is more important at the moment than my awesomeness.

The ride to the compound consists of the usual shooting and jumping stuff. The medication helped a lot, but somehow the floor of the Mako is so. . . Interesting. So I kept my head down. . . Uhm. . . To look at the super interesting floor.

Then the car suddenly stopped with a back and forth motion. That's somehow made the Mako's floor even more interesting. Did you know that the diagonal stripe motive on the floor is actually could move if you stared at it long enough?

There's more shooting from the outside, and not long after that, the Mako roared back to life and moving at a high speed. I didn't know what's happening outside because I'm too glued to this interesting floor. Finally the Mako arrived at the final stop. We dismounted from the vehicle immediately with combat gears ready. Tali once again pat my back in sympathy. I could only offer her a weak smile in return.

After a few deep breaths, I regained my focus and realize there's a huge cliff with a small gap that the Mako couldn't pass through. I sigh in relief before turning my attention to Shepards.

"All right, we'll split into 2 fireteam to cover each left and right flank. Each fireteam should be balanced in tech, biotic, and combat ability," He pulled out his shotgun and ready with the battle stance. "Garrus and Tali, you're with me. Lieutenant Kaidan, you'll lead the second team with Chief William and Wrex. Let's move out!"

"Waiiit! What about me?!" I yelled at them before they really move out.

"Oh right, I forget you're here, Joe. Which team do you want to follow?" He turned his face to me, still in his battle stance.

"I'll cover the middle and own the Ge-" Ashley interrupted me with a hit in the head.

"He's with me Commander, let's move." And with that we move out.

We moved towards the gap in the cliff. As soon as we arrived at the other end, we were greeted by rifle fire from the Geth. Ashley pushed me into a cover before she returned the fire and threw herself behind one of the rocks. I tried to aim and shoot some Geth. But every time I was ready to squeeze the trigger, the Geth head's already blown up.

And then we move out once again towards some sort of hill with a lot of Geth guarding it. It's the same story. Every time I'm about to shoot some stuff, they have already blown up. Man, this is suck. . .

Finally we arrived in some sort of mining camp. There's a few huge crates lying on the ground. On the right, there's this metallic tower with a catwalk in front of the tower that expand to the refinery on the left near where I stood. Below the tower is a stairway that leads towards an entrance to some sort of cave. And there's no enemy here! Nice! Just like a walk in the park!

Suddenly there's a crawling Geth called Geth Stalker launched itself towards me. I instinctively turned around and punched that thing in the face. There's a distinctive crunch noise when my fist connected to the Geth's face. It fell to the ground and went limp instantly. I guess that thing is dead since it's not moving after I poke him with my shotgun barrel. Well, I guess I spoke too soon about walk in the park thingy.

I was right. A Geth drop ship flies passed our head and dropping a couple dozen of Geth and a huge arachnid robot called Geth Colossus. How could I know about what are those things called? Actually, my helmet HUD displayed their name just above their head. Pretty convenient, right? Anyway, everybody immediately dives into the cover as soon as those Geth opened fire.

Everybody focused their fire into the Colossus. Shepard and Kaidan threw some kind of blue energy toward the colossus, made it unable to move. And then Tali typing something into her omni-tool and crippled the colossus shield. But it's still not enough because the Colossus slowly charged the shields the moment the team went back into the cover. I don't know what should I do. My shotgun range is too short to engage the enemy, and the only thing that could work in this range is my pistol. I shoot my pistol in the Geth direction, but none of the bullet hit the target.

I cursed myself because I couldn't do anything at the moment. I need to get closer to be able to shoot my gun at them. And then I notice the catwalk just above me. I immediately climbed the refinery pillar that supported the catwalk. After I reached the top, I bend over behind a crate to hide myself from the plain sight. I peeked over the crate to keep an eye on the situation. All of the Geth still focused on Shepard's group.

I crawl on the catwalk till I managed to get close enough to fire my gun. But apparently, I crawl too far and ended up being directly on top of the Geth. Well, I can't be picky at the moment. Any range close enough to fire my gun is good in my book. I draw my shotgun from the magnetic holster and aim it at the Geth.

I didn't do it. Something inside my head told me it's not cool to just shoot them like that. I have to do something grand to show Shepard that I'm good enough for the team. So here we go, time to nut up or fart up. I jumped down and landed on top of the Colossus's head.

The Geth finally aware of my presence began to shoot in my direction. Luckily, they were too close and didn't have a good angle to shoot. So, their bullet ended up hitting the Colossus instead of me. The Colossus shield went down fast from the combine attack of the Geth and Shepard's team. I guess the Colossus are fed up after being attacked by the other Geth, It began to hurl plasma shot into the Geth crowd below.

I try my best to hang on tight as the Colossus's head moving around to fire at the Geth below. But the constant movement finally took a toll on me. I began to feel sick, my stomach is grumbling, and I taste acid in my mouth. Then, the inevitable happened.

I threw up and the disgusting vomit landed just on top of the Colossus's single huge ass eye. It began to twitch violently with a smoke coming from the eye. I quickly fell off the Colossus's head into the ground because I can't hang on any longer before the Colossus exploded, creating a huge flaming ball.

And then everything went dark.


	11. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:**

**I'm not a rich guy, so there's no way I would own it. Mass effect is the property of Bioware.**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**Dr. T'soni Rescue Mission**

Everything was dark. There's nothing around me, not even the tiniest shred of light that I could see. My body was cold, and I can't move it at all. I still can move my hand, though. Am I dead? Am I going to hell? My mind is engulfed with uncertainty. There's still a lot of unanswered questions running through my head. I can't die here. Not yet!

I moved my hand upward and realize there's some mind of metal on top of me. It's heavy. Am I being buried alive? A sense of panic began to engulf my mind. I tried not to panic and took a few deep breaths. But I realize that was stupid, because If I'm really buried alive, there's little to no air for me to breath.

A much bigger sense of panic began to kick in. I began to desperately find a way out. I drove my hands upward to push it. It budge slightly, but it's enough to give my body a room to move a bit. I kicked the metal with all my might and send it flying upwards. Unfortunately, this metal thingy landed just above my head. And this time, everything went truly dark.

I woke up with a gun barrel shoved into my face. I saw a familiar ugly Krogan face. It was Wrex. He cocked his gun and fired. I closed my eyes to wait for the inevitable things. But fortunately, the bullet landed just beside my head. I slowly get up, and stood exactly in front of Wrex. I stared at him deeply, with my fiercest fierce looking eyes.

And I headbutted him.

"You stupid *******, the **** was that for?!" My fingers are pointed at him while I talk nicely.

Wrex just stretch his neck, and then headbutted me in return.

"You threw that Colossus's head at me, so I think we're even." He laughed in his usual manner.

"Wait, that metal thingy is Colossus's head?!" I'm truly surprised by this. I thought it's just some crappy metal block from somewhere. I mean this is a mining camp after all.

"Yeah, apparently you ripped the Colossus's scalp when you fell off. You know what, you really got a quad taking those Colossus alone. Gota humiliates the Geth with the vomit eh? Hehehe. . ." He seems amused by the "spectacle" I provided while fighting the Geth.

"Yeah, I agree with Wrex for once. You're the most Krogan things I've encountered since Wrex and a couple bad guys at the Citadel. And the fight with Colossus is kinda reckless, but effective. The last part needs a bit 'refinement', though," exclaimed Garrus out of nowhere. Of course with his usual sarcastic remarks.

And then I saw behind him is the whole crew. They're obviously worried about me. Shepard is the first to approach me.

"It's nice to see you survive. But next time, if you want to do any reckless stunt like that, you tell me first," said Shepard seriously. "Anyway, it's a 7 out of 10. The whole vomit thing is a turn off for me. " It's nice to know that Shepard actually can joke about something.

I expected a yelling, or a beating, or at least some sort of personal insult coming from Ashley. But she just looked at me strangely, and then shook his head with a sigh.

"Anyway, how long did I pass out?" I rubbed my head, still feeling a bit dizzy.

"Six minutes. Come on, we don't have much time. We got to move out." With that, Shepard leads the team to the cave entrance.

"Wait, I passed out for six minutes?!" I exclaimed it out loud with shock.

* * *

So this is actually an archeological dig site, well they're both dig something on the ground, so It's not my fault If I mistaking it for a mining camp. There's nothing special about the cave itself, well apart from its more like a dry sewer than a cave, everything else is perfectly unremarkable.

Shepard and Wrex take the lead on the front, with Garrus, Ashley and Kaidan provide support from the middle. Me and Tali are covering the super dangerous flank in case another Colossus attack. But I'm not stupid, I know why Shepard put us in the back. Because, at the moment, we were considered non-combatant member of the team. Really Shepard? After my showdown with the Colossus?

And then, after some momentary silent, Tali finally say something.

"Keelah, are you really all right? The thing you did back there was really reckless," asked Tali to me, she seems genuinely concerned.

"I'm fine. Look, no scar!" I pointed at the part of my head where it was hit by the Colossus's head.

"But really, it's a dangerous thing to do! What If you died out there?" asked Tali to me. I can't tell how's her facial expression. But her voice is full of concern.

"But I'm not. Don't worry Tali! The day I'm going to die is the day when Krogandash ice cream vanished from the universe." I turned around to face her and gave her my thumbs up.

"Keelah, I'll never understand human. . .," she shook her head in confusion.

"Well, technically, I'm not a human. I'm an unknown man with a dark past. I'm nothing but a justice wrapped inside a bone and flesh. And I've amnesia so I didn't remember anything, but I know I like ice cream a lot. Saving babes and babys is what I do." I try my best to look like a mysterious super cool guy full of awesomeness when I speak.

Tali just shook her head in response. I think she chuckled a bit too.

After we walked for a while we arrived at this big Prothean ruin. It's grand and white, and big, and majestic, and bright, and white, well. . ., kinda similar to Citadel Presidium, but it's inside a cave and apparently there's a lava stream below, just like on the outside. I began to think this Prothean race is consist of crazy scientist who laugh mwahahaha with a pet dragon in their basement. I mean, why build things on top of a lava lake. . .

Of course, there's a couple dozen Geth waiting to shoot us, the dirty organic, between the cave entrance and the ruin. But as usual, they're obliterated by the front and middle crew. I almost pitied the Geth because they didn't even see what's coming for them.

We didn't stay long at the ruin because there's some kind of barrier blocking our way to the interior of the ruin. Instead, we take a lift nearby and find our way down. Upon reaching the bottom, a couple of Geth Assault Drone swarmed us from the air. Well, since we actually outnumbered the Geth, it's not really a swarm. But since its sound cooler and more dramatic than a bunch of hopeless Geth, I use that word instead. After that, we take another elevator and went deeper.

"I dare you to spit over the side. . .," whispered Ashley to me.

I looked over to Ashley, and nodded. And then I spit over the side.

The elevator is shaking violently and cme to an abrupt stop. . .

The whole team turned their faces and glared at me. I try my best to look indifferent, but I'm covered in cold sweat. Ash covered her mouth, try to hold back a laughter.

"Uhm. . . Don't we have a mission to do? Let's not waste our time here any longer! Hahaha. . ." I laughed weakly and climbed down from the elevator to the collapsed pathway below.

The other soon follows.

A couple feet from the collapsed pathway, another barrier obstructed the way. I try to walk another way before someone called me from inside the barrier.

"Um. . . Hello? Could somebody help me? Please?" said the person inside the barrier.

I turned my back and began to walk towards the barrier.

"Can you hear me out there? I'm trapped! I need help!" so it's an Asari who's calling me.

"Uh, hello? Why are you flying like that?" I asked her while picking my nose.

"Are you. . . Are you real? Oh, don't be stupid, Liara. Human do not come here. You're hallucinating." She seems talking to herself at the moment.

"Guys! Help me! I found a strange Asari inside the barrier! I think she's crazy!" I called out to the team because I don't know how to handle crazies.

The team immediately came to help me.

"Oh, there's a Krogan walking with a Turian with a human leader! And you talk to yourself, Liara, hahaha. Oh Goddess, I'm going to die here. . ." Her head's now hung low in desperation.

"Are you Doctor T'soni? Relax, I'm real and I'm getting you out of there," said Shepard in his usual cool manly manner.

"You're oddly lucid for a hallucination. They don't usually claim to be real. . ." She seem's unsure about herself.

"Look, it's real! It's even still wet!" I pointed my finger which is smeared with something extra from my nose.

"That's disgusting, Joe. . .," exclaimed Ashley weakly.

Tali just shook her head while Wrex laughed as usual.

"Or do they? I guess I wouldn't know. I don't usually hallucinate. At least I don't think so." She didn't pay any attention to me and keep talking to herself.

"My name is Shepard. The office of Special Tactic and Recon sent me." Man, Shepard is awesome. He can maintain his coolness despite being ignored like that.

"A Spectre? Ha! That's good. What else could I conjure up? A protective figure. Yes, perfect. Comforting," convinced Liara to herself. "All right, I'll play along. As you can see, I've been trapped here for a few days. If you're as real as you claim, find a way to get me out."

I guess, a few days trapped in there really took a toll on her sanity. I can relate to it.

"How'd you ended up in there anyway?" asked Shepard bluntly.

"Yeah,and why are you floating in the mid air like that? Can I fly like that without being trapped?" The other immediately glared at me. Well, what could I say? I'm curious.

"Ah, yes. The figment of my imagination wants me to retrace my steps. See if I can figure out where I went wrong." Again she talked to herself, and ignoring my question about why she's floating. "I was exploring the ruins. When the Geth showed up, I ran in here and activated the defenses. The barrier curtain could protect me. When I turned it on, I must have hit something I wasn't suppose to. I was trapped here. You must get me out, please!" explained Liara to Shepard.

"Calm down, we'll find some way to help you," reassured Shepard to Liara.

"Of course, what good is a hallucination if it can't offer false hope?" her eyes seem unfocused while trying to convince herself. "Listen, if you're real, find some way past the barrier curtain, find some way to deal with the Geth. Then use the control panel to release me. If you're not real, leave me alone. I'm tired talking to myself." Well, I can't blame her. She panted just from talking to us. It's obvious if she's really tired.

Shepard led us down below the ruin where Liara is trapped to find a way past the barrier. But, surprise, surprise! You right! It's the Geth! Waiting for us in the dark, and began shooting laser and rocket launcher to us! I really didn't expect it to be the Geth. Seriously, didn't they have better things to do beside attacking us?

We immediately dive for the cover and began to shoot back. Isn't it convenient to always have a cover when they're shooting us? Why didn't they attack us when we're on the elevator or something? I guess the Geth love to play it fair.

But wait, there's more! Isn't it convenient for the Geth to take cover near some explosive tank that scattered across the room? I guess it's their hobby to get blown up. Well, at least it made our jobs easier.

After we done with the Geth, we began to find a way to past the ruins. But, we couldn't find nothing except some mining equipment and a huge ass mining laser. Yeah, a huge ass mining laser. I bet we could blast our way through with that thing. I guess Shepard and the team wouldn't agree to such a ridiculous idea.

And then Shepard activated the laser and creates a huge hole on the ground. My jaw is slightly dropped looking at the carnage he created. I'm surprised to see Shepard actually did something reckless.

"All right, let's move out," he ordered us casually after creating a new way to past the ruins. Shepard is really a badass.

After taking an elevator, we arrived at this weird room. It's big with white tiles covering everything from tile to the ceiling. This room reminds me of a hospital. . . or a toilet. We approached Liara who's still floating around in the mid air. Beside her is some kind of control panel.

"Now I'm hallucinating that you're inside the tower. I must be getting worse. Earlier, I even imagined I heard thunder." She seems at her limit because she doesn't even bother to look at us anymore.

"We used the mining laser to bore through," explained Shepard bluntly.

"Wait, this is a tower?" I asked to no one in particular.

"What? You bore through?! You're real, aren't you?! By the goddess, you're real!" she gasped, shocked about us being real. "I. . . I'm sorry, I thought you were a hallucination and I was going mad. Please get me out before more Geth show up!"

With that Shepard type something in the control panel, and Liara fell to the floor with a thump.

"Any idea to get out of this place?" now it's Tali who asked the question.

" There's an elevator back in the center of the tower. At least I think it's an elevator. It should take us out of here, come on!" explained Liara to us.

She began to move toward the elevator in the center of the room, but after a few steps, she lost her balance and fell down. Shepard quickly rushed to her side and helped her up. He took his water canteen from her back and gave it to her.

"Drink it slowly." Shepard holds the water canteen and help Liara to drink the water.

"I'm sorry. I guess a few days being trapped could make you suffer from dehydration. . .," Said Liara to Shepard.

"I'm sorry to intrude, but can we get out of here before more Geth show up?" suggested Garrus to Shepard.

"I'm sorry if I'm being a burden and-" before she could finish, Shepard lifts her up and carried her behind his back.

"I'm sorry Doctor T'soni, but my friend is right. We must move out." With this Shepard takes the lead and move out to the elevator.

"Thank you," I heard Liara whispered that to Shepard.

* * *

After we reached the top, we felt the ground beneath us tremble.

"What the hell was that?" Ashley looked around the room, trying to figure out what's happening.

"These ruins aren't stable. That mining laser must have triggered a seismic event. We have to hurry, the whole place is caving in!" explained Liara from behind Shepard's back.

Shepard began to call Joker immediately.

"Joker! Get the Normandy airborne and lock in on my signal. On the double mister!" ordered Shepard to Joker.

We began to move quickly toward the exit, but apparently, faith is a cruel S.O.B. You know what's perfect for this precarious situation? More Geth! With a Krogan Battlemaster in front of it! They began to approach us slowly. Can they at least move faster? This place is about to blow up!

"Surrender, or not. That would be more fun," demanded the Krogan bluntly.

"In case you didn't notice, this place is falling apart!" said Shepard angrily to the Krogan.

"Exhilarating, isn't it." I guess you must be mad to be able to lead the Geth. I mean, what he said is pure madness.

"Thank's for getting rid of those energy fields for us. Now hand the doctor over!" demanded the Krogan to Shepard once again.

"No thank's, she's staying with us," said Shepard without losing his coolness.

"All right then, kill all of them, but spare the Asari!" with that, they began to attack us.

Finally! Some close quarter action! I charged at the nearest Geth, and kick it hard with a flying jump kick to the face. And then I turned around and blast the Geth behind me with a shotgun. After both of the Geth are down, I began to charge at the Krogan Battlemaster with my shotgun cocked. But before I could approach him any further, my body began to glow with blue energy. My body was lifted off the ground and began to spin violently before being thrown into the wall. I immediately got up to my feet, but the spinning sensation from before is too strong. After that, I walked toward a nearby wall and threw up the remaining of my food today from my stomach.

Seeing me getting incapacitated, Wrex began to rush forward and engage the Battlemaster. After a couple of minutes shooting and throwing blue energy at each other, Wrex charged forward at the Battlemaster. The Battlemaster began to attack Wrex with more blue energy, but Wrex could repel it just fine with his own blue energy. After getting near to the Battlemaster, Wrex jumped toward him, and shoved his shotgun into the Battlemaster face. He died instantly with his head blown off.

After the fighting's done, we didn't have any time to relax and started to run for the exit. The wall around us began to collapse, and we increase our speed to reach the topside. Upon reaching the top, we saw the Normandy already waiting with the hangar bay gate opened. The team began to jump to the Normandy one by one, but I'm too weak from the constant trembling, and started to vomit once again.

Then I feel my body is being lifted off the ground, and suddenly launched toward the Normandy. I hit the metal wall inside the Normandy with my face first.

Everything went dark after that.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry in advanced if I post the chapter late for a couple of weeks. Gonna be busy for a moment. Thank you for listening and thank you for keep supporting my story.**


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